Astronomy Jokes
What is gods favorite planet?
Saturn because he put a ring on it.
Did you hear about the great new restaurant on the moon?
The food is excellent, but there's no atmosphere.
Where would an astronaut park his space ship?
A parking meteor!
Why do life-sustaining planets need ammonia?
Because it's a basic material.
What is an aliens favorite chocolate?
A marsbar!
What did the moon say to his therapist?
I'm just going through a phase.
What did the Sun say to Canis Major?
Why so Sirius?
Why is Saturn so rich?
Because it has lots of rings!
What did Neptune say to Saturn?
Is Uranus in-between us?
What do martians listen to in space?
Bruno Mars.
How do you throw a party for an astronaut?
You have to plan-et.
How does a man on a moon get his haircut?
Eclipse it.
What kind of song do planets sing?
A Nep-tune.
Why wasn't the moon hungry?
Because it was full!
A day on Mercury lasts about 1408 hours or about the same as a Monday on Earth.
Whatever happens in a black hole stays in a black hole.
What's heavier? A Galaxy, Mars, Earth or the Sun?
The Earth because galaxy and mars are chocolate bars and the sun's a newspaper!
I wonder if Earth makes fun of other planets for having no life.
Jupiter Saturn (sat on) Uranus.
I'd tell you a joke about space, but... its too, out of this world!
Dear Earth, I hope you're enjoying your stupid DAY. Sincerely, Pluto.
Two Blondes
Two blondes in Las Vegas were sitting on a bench talking ... and one blonde says to the other,
"Which do you think is farther away ... Florida or the moon?"
The other blonde turns and says "Hellooooooo, can you see Florida?"
Holiday
God is tired, worn out. So he speaks to St. Peter, "You know, I need a vacation. Got any suggestions where I should go?"
St. Peter, thinking, nods his head, then says, "How about Jupiter? It's nice and warm there this time of the year."
God shakes His head before saying, "No. Too much gravity. You know how that hurts my back."
"Hmmm," St. Peter reflects. "Well, how about Mercury?"
"No way!" God mutters, "It's way too hot for me there!"
"I've got it," St. Peter says, his face lighting up. "How about going Down to Earth for your vacation?"
Chuckling, God remarks, "Are you kidding? Two thousand years ago I went there, had an affair with some nice Jewish girl, and they're STILL talking about it!"
Moon Jokes
Astronaut Jokes
Physics Jokes