Petrol Jokes
What happens after the government takes 40 percent of your pay cheque?
The petrol station takes the rest!
What does OPEC now stand for?
Oil Pricing Evil Cartel!
Where do bees go to the bathroom?
At the BP station!
After the war the allies have decided to split Iraq into 3 regions.
Leaded, Unleaded, and Diesel.
Why shouldn't the yanks ease environmental regulations to reduce petrol prices?
It'll backfire and not only will you not be able to drive, you won't be able to breathe either."
When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I should take her somewhere expensive.
So I took her to a petrol station!
How high are petrol prices in London?
So high rats are carpooling in from Watford!
What is the Teresa May's new fitness program to get people walking again?
Petrol at 150p/litre
Why is Teresa May only speaking to the Muslims?
Because they are the only group not upset about the high petrol prices!
How bad are petrol prices in London?
Guys in Westminter are hiring escorts to siphon petrol out of other people's cars.
How does the Labour party plan to reduce the number of barrels (of petrol) consumed?
By increasing the size of the barrels!
What is the difference between shite in a bucket and a petrol station?
The bucket.
I decided I was going to treat myself to something really expensive. So I went to the petrol station.
What is the new petrol station payment policy?
We will TAKE your Visa, Mastercard, American Express, and Deptartment Store cards
Why do only 90 percent of Britons feel economic hardship because of $150p/litre gas?
The other 10 percent own BP company stock!
Three Blokes
Three blokes were having a conversation at the pub.
The first bloke says "I like walking in the rain so no one sees my tears."
The second bloke says "I like walking in the fog so no one sees me smoking."
The last bloke says "I walk all the time because petrol is at 130p/litre."