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Thanksgiving Short Jokes
Q: What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
A: Plymouth Rock
Q: If April showers bring May flowers, what do May flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims
Q: What did the turkey say to the man who tried to shoot it?
A: Liberty, Equality and Bad aim for all.
Q: Why did the Pilgrims want to sail to America in the spring?
A: Because April showers bring Mayflowers!
Q: If the Pilgrims were alive today, what would they be most famous for?
A: Their AGE!
Q: Why do pilgrims pants keep falling down?
A: Because their belt buckles are on their hats!
Q: Why did they let the turkey join the band?
A: Because he had the drumsticks
Q: What did the mama turkey say to her naughty son?
A: If your papa could see you now, he'd turn over in his gravy!
Q: What if the Pilgrims shot a bobcat instead of a turkey?
A: We'd be eating pussy for Thanksgiving!
Q: If a man wants to eat a turkey on Thanksgiving, what does a turkey want?
A: It simply wants to run away.
Q: What did the turkeys sing on Thanksgiving Day?
A: God save the kin.
Q: Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
A: The outside
Q: Why did the police arrest the turkey?
A: They suspected it of fowl play
Q: What's the key to a great Thanksgiving dinner?
A: The turKEY
Q: What did the turkey say before it was roasted?
A: Boy! I'm stuffed!
Q: What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian?
A: He had an arrow escape
Q: What does a English turkey say to another English turkey on Thanksgiving morning?
A: To be or not to be roasted, that is the question.
Q: Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"?
A: Because they never learned good table manners!
Q: What happened when the turkey got into a fight?
A: He got the stuffing knocked out of him!
Q: What sound does a space turkey make?
A: Hubble, Hubble, Hubble!
Q: What key has legs and can't open doors?
A: A Turkey.
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: It was the chicken's day off!
Q: Why can't you take a turkey to church?
A: Because they use such FOWL language
Q: Which cat discovered America?
A: Christofurry Columbus
Q: What are the feathers on a turkey's wings called?
A: Turkey feathers
Q: What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
A: The turkey trot
Q: What do you get when you cross a turkey with an octopus?
A: Enough drumsticks for Thanksgiving
Q: What do you call the age of a pilgrim?
A: Pilgrimage.
Q:What kind of tan did pilgrims get at the beach?
A: Puritan.
Q: What kind of face does a pilgrim make when he's in pain?
A: Pil-grimace.
Q: What do you call a pilgrims vocabulary?
A: Pilgrammar.
Q: What do modern day Native Americans call a pilgrim?
A: Pilgrim Reaper.
Q: What happened to the Pilgrim who was shot at by an Indian?
A: He had an arrow escape.
Q: What does Dracula call Thanksgiving?
A: Fangs-giving.
Q: Why can't you take a turkey to church?
A: They use FOWL language.
Q: What would you get if you crossed a turkey with an evil spirit?
A: A poultrygeist!
Q: Who is not hungry at Thanksgiving?
A: The turkey because he's already stuffed!
Q: In what country is Thanksgiving ironically not celebrated?
A: Turkey.
Q: If you call a large turkey a gobbler what do you call a small one?
A: Goblet.
Q: What was the turkey suspected of?
A: Fowl play.
Q: What's the best way to stuff a turkey?
A: Serve him lots of pizza and ice cream!
Q: Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?
A: To hatchet.
Q: What sound does a turkey's phone make?
A: Wing! Wing!
Q: What's the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?
A: The turkey trot.
Q: What smells the best at a Thanksgiving dinner?
A: Your nose.
Q: What do you wear to Thanksgiving dinner?
A: A Har- VEST.
Q: Why dont people in the ghetto celebrate thanksgiving?
A: KFC isnt open on holidays.
Q: How do Rednecks celebrate Thanksgiving?
A: Pump kin!
Q: What do Thanksgiving and Halloween have in common?
A: One has gobblers, the other goblins.
Q: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
A: Pumpkin pi.
Q: What is a pumpkin's favorite sport?
A: Squash
Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving,"
Little Johnny wrote, "I am thankful that I'm not a turkey."
Thanksgiving Turkey Song
O turkey dear
O turkey dear
How lovely are thy feathers
O turkey dear
O turkey dear
There could be nothing better!
We celebrate Thanksgiving Day
By putting your carcass on display.
O turkey dear
O turkey dear
You thought we were friends who came to greet you.
O turkey dear
O turkey dear
We gathered here to eat you!
O turkey day
O turkey day
The family is all together
O turkey day
O turkey day
We've over come bad weather
Seeing the family is so fab
We'll see ya'll again in rehab.
O turkey day
O turkey day
We'll drink away your memory.
Thanksgiving Bar Jokes
Blonde Thanksgiving
It was the first time the blonde was eating Thanksgiving dinner without her family. Trying to re-enact the tradition, she prepared a dinner for herself alone. The next day, her mother called to see how everything went.
"Oh, mother, I made myself a lovely dinner, but I had so much trouble trying to eat the turkey!" said the daughter.
"Did it not taste good?" her mother asked.
"I don't know," the blonde said. "It wouldn't sit still!"
Pro Football Turkey
The pro football team had just finished their daily practice session when a large turkey came strutting onto the field. While the players gazed in amazement, the turkey walked up to the head coach and demanded a tryout.
Everyone stared in silence as the turkey caught pass after pass and ran right through the defensive line. When the turkey returned to the sidelines, the coach shouted, "You're terrific!!! Sign up for the season, and I'll see to it that you get a huge bonus."
"Forget the bonus," the turkey said, "All I want to know is, does the season go past Thanksgiving Day?"
Young Michael
Young Michael was sitting in his grandmother's kitchen, watching her prepare the Thanksgiving meal.
'What are you doing?' Michael enquired.
'Oh, I'm just stuffing the turkey,' his grandmother replied.
'Wow, that's cool.' Michael remarked. 'Are you going to hang it next to the deer?'
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