National Lasagna Day Jokes
What do you call fake lasagna?
An impasta.
What does an Irishman get after eating Italian lasagna?
Gaelic breath!
Did you hear about the Italian chef that died?
He pasta way.
What does Arnold Schwarzenegger say before eating lasagna?
PASTA LA VISTA BABY.
Knock, Knock, Who's There?
Pasta...
Pasta who?
Pass the Lasagna we're hungry!
My sister bet me a $1,000,000 that I couldn't make a car out of lasagna, you should have seen her face when I drove pasta.
He'll Take Care Of You
Gina had just got married and being a traditional Italian, she was still a virgin. So, on her wedding night, staying at her mother's house, she was nervous. But her mother reassured her. "Don't worry, Gina. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take care of you."
So up she went. When she got upstairs, Tony took off his shirt and exposed his hairy chest. Gina ran downstairs to her mother and says, "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a big hairy chest." "Don't worry, Gina," says the mother," all good men have hairy chests. Go upstairs. He'll take good care of you."
So, up she went again. When she got up in the bedroom, Tony took off his pants exposing his hairy legs. Again, Gina ran downstairs to her mother. "Mama, Mama, Tony took off his pants and he's got hairy legs!"
"Don't worry. All good men have hairy legs. Tony's a good man. Go upstairs and he'll take good care of you." So up she went again. When she got up there, Tony took off his socks and on his left foot he was missing three toes. When Gina saw this, she ran downstairs. "Mama, Mama, Tony's got a foot and a half!"
"Stay here and eat the lasagna," says the mother. "This is a job for Mama!
First Impressions
How to Impress an Italian Lady:
Wine her, dine her, hug her, support her, compliment her, suprise her, smile at her, hold her, romance her, laugh with her, shop with her, cuddle her, go to the end of the earth for her...
How to Impress an Italian Man:
Show up naked, Bring Lasagna & Beer.
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