If Megan Fox is a cake, then what is Amanda Bynes?
When is a fruitcake like a golf ball?
When it's been sliced.
What happens when no one comes to your christmas party?
You can have your fruitcake and eat it too.
What did the gingerbread man say to the unhappy fruitcake?
"What's eating you?"
What did the fruitcake say to the fork?
Do you want a piece of me?
Top 10 Uses For Holiday Fruitcakes
10. Use slices to balance that wobbly kitchen table.
9. Use instead of sand bags during El Nino.
8. Send to U.S. Air Force, let troops drop them.
7. Use as railroad ties.
6. Use as speed bumps to foil the neighborhood drag racers.
5. Collect ten and use them as bowling pins.
4. Use instead of cement shoes.
3. Save for next summer's garage sale.
2. Use slices in next skeet-shooting competition.
1. Two words pin cushion.