National Chewing Gum Day Jokes

What is the difference between a school teacher and a train?
The teacher says spit your gum out and the train says "chew chew chew".

Did you hear about the astronaut who stepped on chewing gum?
He got stuck in Orbit.

What do you call a train that eats toffee?
A chew, chew train.

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.
Frank Lloyd Wright

What is hard and pink when it goes in and soft and wet when it comes out?
Bubblegum you dirty minded pervert!

What did the chewing gum say to the shoe?
I'm stuck on you!

Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
Because it was stuck to chickens bum.

What channel is Mike Tyson's next boxing match going to be on?
Pay Per Chew!

What's the difference between a bunny and a lumberjack?
One chews and hops, the other hews and chops.

French Guy
This American guy is sitting at a diner minding his own business eating breakfast.
A French guy chewing gum sits down next to him & says "What are you eating there? American bread? In France we eat only the soft centers out of our fresh bread & send the crusts to America."
The American Guy ignores him.
"What have you got on that bread? Jam? In France we eat only the freshest fruit & put the seeds & pits into containers & send it to America to make your jam."
"Well let me ask you one question. Do you have sex over there in France?"
"Oh Oiu, Oiu, you know we do."
"What do you do with the used condoms?"
"Oh flush them down the toilet of course."
"Well here in America we put them into containers & sell them to France as bubble gum."

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