Why was the almond late for work?
Traffic was NUTS.
What do almonds drink?
How can you catch a gay squirrel?
Climb a tree and pretend to be an almond (botanically speaking, almonds are fruits).
Why did the almond take apart the classic car?
To get down to the nuts and bolts.
What did the Psychologist say to the Almond with multiple personalities?
You're one tough nut to crack!
What does a male almond tree have that a woman almond tree doesn't?