Mardi Gras One-Liner Jokes

What is the difference between Fat Tuesday and Mardi Gras?
Mardi Gras is an all-night party in New Orleans, Fat Tuesday is who you wake up with the morning after!

Mardi Gras is more like "Where's My Bra"

How is the bad economy affecting Mardi Gras?
Now when you throw beads, women only flash one boob!

What do you call a hamburger covered in beads?
A French Quarter pounder.

Have you read the JK Rowling book about Mardi Gras?
It's called "Fantastic Beads and Where To Find Them"

How do you start a Mardi Gras parade on bourbon street?
Roll a 40 down the street.

Women are better communicators than men, but why do they get nude at Mardi Gras?
Because for 1 week in February in New Orleans, they can't say NO!

What can you expect from the FEMA float at Mardi Gras this year?
No one knows, it's not expected 'til labor day!

How do you know you went to Mardi Gras?
A1: You wake up on a sidewalk and the only things in your pants pockets are your car keys and a court summons. 
A2: You wake up and discover a Tattoo of "Beignets Rule" on your ass. 

Whats in the drink "FEMA"
No one knows, but it hits you one week later!

What's the problem with jogging during Mardi Gras?
The ice falls out of your drinks!

Mardi Gras is the only acceptable time to wear body glitter without being mistaken for a stripper.

To say "mardi gras" in sign language just do a huge embellished jerk off motion

Not even Katrina could stop Mardi Gras.

If you can't make it to New Orleans for Mardi Gras, please feel free to reveal your breasts right here.

I love Mardi Gras with every bead of my heart.

If Emma Watson made a movie about Mardi Gras, I bet you it would be called "Beauty and the Beads".

Fat Tuesday? Guys are such jerks. Tuesday just has a thyroid problem.

Mardi Gras is the only time of year you can take a condescending prude and bead her down to size.

Dear New Orleans,
Your Fat Tuesday is Charlie Sheen's Tuesday.

Mardi Gras reminds me how much inflation changes things. Beads used to buy you the island of Manhattan, now you only get two coconuts.

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