Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer Jokes
What do you call an obnoxious reindeer?
RUDEolph.
How many reindeer does it take to change a light bulb?
Eight! One to screw in the light bulb and seven to hold Rudolph down!
What do you call a blind reindeer?.
I have no eye deer
Did you hear about the race between Rudolph and the other reindeer?
Rudolph won by a nose.
What do you call Rudolph if he also lives in the South Pole?
Bi-Polar
What does Rudolph want for Christmas?
A pony sleigh station!
Which of Santa's reindeer has bad manners?
"Rude"-olph!
What does Rudolph hang on his Christmas tree?
"Horn"-aments!
What would Rudolph do if he lost his tail?
He'd go to a "re-tail" shop for a new one.
What do Rudolph always say before telling you a joke?
This one will "sleigh" you!
Russia
A couple is walking in St. Petersburg Square on Christmas Eve. They feel a slight precipitation.
"I think it's raining." says the man.
"No, it's snowing." replies the woman.
"How about we ask this communist officer of here? He is always right!" exclaims the man, "Officer Rudolph, is it raining or snowing?"
"Definitely raining." Officer Rudolph replies before walking off.
The man turns to his wife with a smile. "See? Rudolph the Red knows rain, dear."
Antlers
According to the Alaska Department of Fish and Game, while both male and female reindeer grow antlers in the summer each year, male reindeer drop their antlers at the beginning of winter, usually late November to mid-December. Female reindeer retain their antlers till after they give birth in the spring.
Therefore, according to EVERY historical rendition depicting Santa's reindeer, EVERY single one of them, from Rudolph to Blitzen, had to be a girl.
We should've known... ONLY women would be able to drag a fat jolly old man in a red velvet suit all around the world in one night and not get lost.
Santa
One day, Santa saw a young deer with a glowing nose of red...he smiled at him and waved to young creature.
The deer dropped his bottle of gin and exclaimed "Oh Sh!t...it's Santa!" And ran away.
Santa rubbed his beard and shook his head. "I think I'll call that one Rude-off."