Zebra Bar Jokes
Life In A Zoo
Short Zebra Jokes
Q: What does a zebra and michael jackson have in common?
A: They can't decide whether to be black or white!
Q: Whats black and white and red all over?
A: A sun-burned zebra!
Q: What did the blonde name her pet zebra?
Q: If a quadruped has four legs and a biped has two legs, what is a zebra?
A: A stri-ped.
Q: What do you get if you cross a zebra with an ape man?
A: Tarzan with stripes.
Q: What do you call a horse wearing Venetian blinds?
A: A zebra!
Q: Did you know that scientists crossed a zebra and a donkey?
A: They called it a zeedonk.
Why does the zebra bring toilet paper to the party?
Because he is a party pooper.
Why did the zebra cross the road?
Because it was a zebra crossing.
Q: What is black and white and eats like a horse?
A: A zebra.
Q: What's black and white and black and white and black and white and green?
A: 3 zebras fighting over a pickle.
I suppose when you've seen one lion catch a zebra, you've seen a maul.
There was this zebra who had lived her entire life in a zoo and was getting on a bit so the zoo keeper decided as a treat that she could spend her final years in bliss on a farm. The zebra was so excited, she got out of the horse float to see this huge space with green grass and hill and trees and all these strange animals. She saw a big fat weird looking brown thing and ran up to it all excited, "Hi! I'm a zebra, what are you?"
"I'm a cow" said the cow.
"Right, and what do you do?" asked the zebra.
"I make milk for the farmer" said the cow.
"Cool." The zebra then saw this funny looking little white thing and ran over to it. "Hi, I'm a zebra, what are you?"
"I'm a chicken," said the chicken.
"Oh, right, what do you do?" asked the zebra.
"I make eggs for the farmer." said the chicken.
"Right - o, great, see ya round." Then the zebra saw this very handsome beast that looked almost exactly like her without the stripes. She ran over to it and said, "Hi, I'm a zebra, what are you?"
"I am a Stallion," said the stallion.
"Wow," said the zebra. "What do you do?"
"Take off your pajamas darling, and I'll show you."
Racist Zebra Joke
There once were two little zebras who wanted to know if they were white with black stripes, or black with white stripes.
One little zebra suggested to visit the "Zebra of the Wise"
The two little zebras went to the Zebra of the wise and asked, "Are we black with white stripes, or white with black stripes?" The Zebra of the wise replied " We are who we are."
The one little zebra said "OK" and ran away. Then the other little zebra followed him.
The one little zebra said to the other... " He didn't answer us, so what are we?" The one little zebra said " We are white with black stripes."
The other zebra said "how do you know that."
Then the little zebra said, " Well if we were black with white stripes he would have said " We is who we is."
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later, a zebra walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the zebra's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the zebra. "Your name is written inside the cover."
Once a teacher was teaching the children about stripes animal.
Teacher:Aisha stand up and tell me any two names of striped animals.
Teacher:Very good now tell the other name!
Night of Drinking
A man and his pet zebra walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking.
They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.
Finally, the bartender says: "Last call."
So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my zebra."
The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the zebra falls over dead.
The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.
The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there."
To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a zebra."
A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a zebra sitting next to him.
"Are you a zebra?" asked the man, surprised.
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The zebra replied, "Well, I liked the book."
A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a zebra in the front seat.
"What are you doing with that zebra?" He exclaimed, "You should take it to the zoo."
The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the zebra again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over.
"I thought you were going to take that zebra to the zoo!"
The man replied, "I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!"
How do You?
A student named Jacob was sitting in class one day and the teacher walked by and he asked her "How do you put an elephant in the fridge?"
The teacher said "I don't know, how?"
Jacob then said "You open the door and put it in there!"
Then Jacob asked the teacher another question "How do you put a zebra in the fridge?"
The teacher then replied "Ohh I know this one, you open the door and put it in there?"
Jacob said "No, you open the door, take the elephant out, and then you put it in there."
Then he asked another question..."All the animals went to the lions birthday party, except one animal, which one was it?"
The teacher a bit confused and said "The lion?"
Then the student said "No,the zebra because he's still in the fridge."
then he asked her just one more question...."If there is a river full of crocodiles and you wanted to get across it,how would you"
The teacher then says "You would walk over the bridge."
Then Jacob says "No, you would swim across because all the crocodiles are at the lions birthday party!"
She laughs and walks away.