Wolf Jokes


Q: What did the wolf say when someone stepped on his foot?
A: Aoooowwwwww!

Q: Why did the boy cry wolf?
A: To get a Howling experience.

Q: What did one wolf say to another?
A: Howl's it goin'!

Q: What do wolf parties always start at midnight?
A: So they can have a howling good time!

Q: Why did the little boy cry wolf?
A: Because it ate the three little pigs.

Q: What do you call a lumberjack wolf?
A: A timber wolf!

Q: What did one wolf say to another?
A: Let's go catch some fast food!

Q: What do you call a lost wolf?
A: A where-wolf!

Q: What did Matt Damon say when a wolf took a bite out of his leg?
A: Howl do you like them apples!

Q: What do you get when you cross Fred Astaire and a wolf?
A: Dances with wolves.

Q: What's the difference between Cersei Lannister and a direwolf?
A: Lipstick.

Q: Why did the wolf cross the road?
A: He was chasing the chicken!

Q: What did one wolf say to the other?
A: Howl do you do.

Q: What does a wolf receptionist say?
A: Howl may I help you?

Q: Where does a wolf sit in the movie theater?
A: Anywhere it wants to!

Q: What do you call an wolf with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can't hear you!

Q: What do you say when you meet a talking wolf?
A: Howl about that?

Q: What did the grape say when the wolf stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Q: What do you get when you cross Rocky Marciano and a wolf?
A: White Fang.

Q: Why did the wolf cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Knock knock
Who's there
Where wolf
Werewolf who
Where wolf I find a bathroom!

Little Red Riding Hood

Little Red Riding Hood is skipping down the road when she sees the Big Bad Wolf crouched down behind a tree log.
"My what big eyes you have, Mr. Wolf," says Little Red Riding Hood. The wolf jumps up and runs away!
Further down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again. This time he is crouched behind a tree stump. "My what big ears you have Mr. Wolf," says Little Red Riding Hood. Again the wolf jumps up and runs away.
About 2 miles down the road Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again, this time crouched down behind a road sign. "My what big teeth you have Mr. Wolf," taunts Little Red Riding Hood.
With that the Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams... "Will you friggin' leave me alone? I'm trying to take a shit!"

Religious Cowboy

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later, a wolf walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the wolf's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the wolf. "Your name is written inside the cover."

Pickup Truck

A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of wolf pups. He pulls the guy over and says...
"You can't drive around with wolf pups in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately."
The guy says "OK"... and drives away.
The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of wolf pups, and they're all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands...
"I thought I told you to take these wolf pups to the zoo yesterday?"
The guy replies...
"I did . . . today I'm taking them to the beach!"

Night of Drinking
A man and his pet wolf walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking.
They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.
Finally, the bartender says: "Last call."
So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my wolf."
The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the wolf falls over dead.
The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.
The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there."
To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a wolf."

Movies
A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a wolf sitting next to him.
"Are you a wolf?" asked the man, surprised.
"Yes."
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The wolf replied, "Well, I liked the book."

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