Whale Jokes

What do whales eat?
Fish and ships.

What do whales like to chew?
Blubber gum!

Where are whales weighed?
At a whale weigh station

How do you circumsize a whale?
You send down four-skin divers.

Did you hear about the flying whale?
Actually its a whale of a story.

What do you call a baby whale?
A little squirt!

What did the shark say to the whale?
What are you blubbering about?

What do you get if you cross an elephant with a whale?
A submarine with a built-in snorkel.

What do you get when you cross a cow and a whale?

How do you get banned from Sea World?
Free Willy.

What is an investment bankers favorite fish?
White Whales.

How is a dog and a marine biologist alike?
One wags a tail and the other tags a whale.

Why did the whale cross the road?
To get to the other tide!

What's Moby Dicks fathers name?
Papa Boner.

How do fish travel long distances?
They whale (hail) a cab.

What do you calf a whale with the stomach virus?
A be-loogie

How do you make a fish laugh?
Tell a whale of a tale.

Whats the difference between your mom and a blue whale?
Ten pounds.

I know a whale joke. Its a real killer.

Do you like whales? Cause we can go hump back at my place.

A man walks into Sea World and says whale whale whale what have we here.

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a whale sitting next to him.
"Are you a whale?" asked the man, surprised.
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The whale replied, "Well, I liked the book."

Salty Sea
Son: 'Dad, why is the sea salty?'
Father: 'Son, when a male blue whale mates, it releases over 40,000 gallons of sperm. Only 30% of this reaches the female and you ask me the why the sea is salty...'

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