Sheep Jokes

Q: What do you call a sheep covered in chocolate?
A: A Candy Baa.

Q: What do you get if you cross an angry sheep and a moody cow?
A: An animal that's in a baaaaaaaad moooooood.

Q: What do you call a sheep with a machine gun?
A: A b-aa-aa-aa-d situation.

Q: How do sheep greet each other at Christmas?
A: Merry Christmas to Ewe!

Q: How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
A: "Fleece Navidad!"

Q: How many sheep does it take to knit a sweater?
A: Don't be silly - sheep can't knit!

Q: What animal sounds like a sheep but isn't?
A: A baaaa-boon!

Q: What do you call a dancing sheep?
A: A baa-lerina!

Q: What do you call a sheep that is always quiet?
A: A shhhheep!

Q: What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A: A cloud.

Q: What do you get when you cross a sheep and a porcupine?
A: An animal that can sew its own sweaters.

Q: Where did the sheep get a haircut?
A: The baa-baa shop!

Q: Where do sheep get their wool cut?
A: At the baa-baa shop!

Q: What do you get if you cross a sheep with a porcupine?
A: An animal that knits its own sweaters

Q: Where do sheeps take a bath?
A: In a baaaa-th tub!

Q: Why was the sheep arrested on the freeway?
A: Because she did a ewe-turn!

Q: Why couldn't the little lamb play outside?
A: It was being baaaaaaaad!

Q: Where do sheep go when they die?
A: To the baa baa que.

Q: Why are sheep baaaaaad drivers?
A: They always make illegal ewe turns.

Q: Where do sheep go on vacation?
A: To the baaaaaahamas.

Q: What did the sheep want to do?
A: To wool the world.

Q: What do you call a religious sheep?
A: a baaaa=ptist.

Q: What Jewish holiday do sheep celebrate?
A: Baa-nukkah

What football club do sheep's like?

What do you get if you cross a kangaroo and a sheep?
A woolly good jumper.

Q: What do you call sheep taking over France?
A: Baaaa-stile Day.

Q: What kind of car does a sheep like to drive?
A: A Lamborghini

Q: Why did the policeman give the sheep a ticket?
A: He was a baaaaaaaaad driver.

Q: what is a sheep's favourite food?
A: chocolate baar.

What stroke do sheep enjoy doing?
The baaaackstroke!

A sheep, a drum and a snake fall off a cliff. What sound do they make?

Religious Cowboy

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later, a sheep walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the sheep's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the sheep. "Your name is written inside the cover."

Night of Drinking
A man and his pet sheep walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking.
They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.
Finally, the bartender says: "Last call."
So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my sheep."
The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the sheep falls over dead.
The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.
The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there."
To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a sheep."

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a sheep sitting next to him.
"Are you a sheep?" asked the man, surprised.
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The sheep replied, "Well, I liked the book."

Front Seat
A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a sheep in the front seat.
"What are you doing with that sheep?" He exclaimed, "You should take it to the zoo."
The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the sheep again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over.
"I thought you were going to take that sheep to the zoo!"
The man replied, "I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!"

How do You?
A student named Jacob was sitting in class one day and the teacher walked by and he asked her "How do you put an elephant in the fridge?"
The teacher said "I don't know, how?"
Jacob then said "You open the door and put it in there!"
Then Jacob asked the teacher another question "How do you put a sheep in the fridge?"
The teacher then replied "Ohh I know this one, you open the door and put it in there?"
Jacob said "No, you open the door, take the elephant out, and then you put it in there."
Then he asked another question..."All the animals went to the lions birthday party, except one animal, which one was it?"
The teacher a bit confused and said "The lion?"
Then the student said "No, the sheep because he's still in the fridge."
then he asked her just one more question...."If there is a river full of crocodiles and you wanted to get across it,how would you"
The teacher then says "You would walk over the bridge."
Then Jacob says "No, you would swim across because all the crocodiles are at the lions birthday party!"
She laughs and walks away.

A shepherd was looking for a lost sheep, after a couple hours he found it stuck in some briar bushes and covered with mud. He rescued the sheep. After several slanderous remarks about the muddy dumb sheep, the sheep blurted out, "What are you griping about, I almost drowned in the pond?" Shocked at hearing the Sheep speak, the Shepherd asked the sheep why he was in the pond in the first place, "Don't you know sheep can't swim?", We were not swimming, we were wallowing in mud and I stepped into, a deep hole?" "Who is we?" the Shepherd asked. "Me and the pig?" The sheep replied. "Why on earth would you wallow in mud?" asked the Shepherd. "Well the pig said it would make me cooler, I was getting hot." The shepherd asked the sheep where the pig was. The sheep replied. "He went back to the barn." So the Shepherd put the sheep on his shoulders and began his trip back to the barn. He did not own a pig, and he planned to take the pig to task for the mud wallowing incident. The next day the shepherd?s rich neighbor a farmer came by and inquired if the shepherd had seen his pig. Soon the Shepherd began telling the rich farmer about the sheep and pig story, and demanded compensation for the incident caused by the farmer's pig." The farmer expressed his doubts to the Shepherd, whereupon the Sheep blurted out "He's right, it was your pig that did it." Just then the rich farmer realized that this was a talking sheep. He thought to himself, "I can make millions with a talking sheep. He stopped the discussion and asked if the shepherd would take 500 dollars for the sheep. The shepherd replied that he would consider the sale on an as is basis, no guarantees. The farmer then bought the sheep and the trade was done. The shepherd turned and as he walked away the farmer heard him say "Well that's one less diseased and dying sheep I have to worry about, Your pig said he was full of shit anyway."

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