Seal Jokes - Animal Jokes

Back to: Animal Jokes

Baby Harp Seal

A baby harp seal was crawling around the rocky shores out in the open.
A greenpeace person ran over to it and said, "Don't you know there are evil men out here to kill you and take your skin?
Why are you out here in the open?"
The baby seal replied, "Beats me!"

Bartender
Baby seal goes into a bar, the Bartender says "What'll it be?".
The seal replies "Anything but Canadian Club on the rocks!".

Pickup Truck

A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of seals. He pulls the guy over and says...
"You can't drive around with seals in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately."
The guy says "OK"... and drives away.
The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of seals, and they're all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands...
"I thought I told you to take these seals to the zoo yesterday?"
The guy replies...
"I did . . . today I'm taking them to the beach!"

Religious Eskimo

The devout eskimo lost his favorite Bible while he was ice fishing.
Three weeks later, a baby seal walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The eskimo couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the seal's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the baby seal. "Your name is written inside the cover."

Q: What did the seal say when it swam into a concrete wall?
A: "Dam!"

Q: What does a seal get from sitting on the ice too long at the zoo?
A: Polaroids!

Q: What did the baby seal say when it was late?
A: "I would have been here sooner, but my iceberg hit a ship."

Q: Why are George W Bush's school grades like a seals eating habits?
A: They're both below C level!

Q: What's a balanced diet for a polar bear?
A: A seal in each paw!

Q: What did the grape say when the seal stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Q: Where do seals go to see movies?
A: The dive-in!

Q: Why do seals swim in salt water?
A: Because pepper water makes them sneeze!

Q: Why did the walrus go to the tupperware party ?
A: He was looking for a tight seal.

Joke Generators:
Click Here for a random Pick Up Line
Click Here for a random Yo Mama Joke
Click Here for a random Dirty Joke
Click Here for a random Ethnic Joke
Click Here for a random Blonde Joke
Click Here for a random Knock Knock Joke
Click Here for a Random Joke (all other categories)