Q: What do you call a monkey who works in a call centre?
A: A who-rang-utang!
Q: What do you call a monkey who can't hear the telephone and who has a wife called Tang?
A: Who-rang-o-tang!
Q: What did the orangutan say to the chimp?
A: Ginger's the new black!
Q: What's white and swings through the trees?
A: A meranguetan!
Q: What do orangutans do in the club?
A: Make it Plantain.
Q: What is a orangutan's favorite cookie?
A: Chocolate chimp!
How did Gertie Orangutan win the beauty contest?
She was the beast of the show!
How do you prepare a Orangutan sundae?
Your start getting it ready Fridae and Saturdae!
What did George Washington have to do with Orangutans?
As little as possible, dummy!
What do you feed a 600 pound Orangutan?
Anything it wants!
What does a Orangutan attorney study?
The Law of the jungle!
What does a Orangutan learn first in school?
The Apey-cees!
What gives a orangutan good taste?
Four years in an Ivy League school!
What happens if you cross a parrot with a Orangutan?
Nobody is sure, but if it opened its mouth to speak, you'd listen!
What's orange, brown and white, orange, brown and white, brown and white, etc.?
An Orangutan riding down a snowbank!
What is as big as an orangutan but weighs nothing?
Its shadow!
When did the Orangutans start to picket the cookie factory?
The day they started to manufacture animal crackers!
Which author do the Orangutans love most?
Joh Steinbeck - who wrote 'The Apes of Wrath!'
Which drink makes a Orangutan feel tipsy?
An ape-ricot sour!
Which technique does a Orangutan borrow from another animal when it gets romantic?
The bear hug!
Who is the Orangutans' favourite President of recent years?
Hairy Truman!
Why did both Germany and the U.S want to hire Orangutans during World War Two?
Because they are excellent at waging Gorilla warfare!
Why did the actor fire his Orangutan agent?
The big Ape kept wanting to take more than a 10% bite!
Why did the female Orangutan, engaged to the invisible man, call off the wedding?
Because in the last analysis she just couldn't see it!
Why did the Orangutan fail English?
He had little Ape-titude!
Why do waiters like Orangutans better than flies?
Did you ever hear a customer complain 'Waiter, there's a Orangutan in my soup!'
Q: Why do orangutans have big nostrils?
A: They have big fingers.
How do you make a Orangutan laugh?
Tell it a whale of a tale!
How do you make a Orangutan float?
Two scoops of ice cream, some club soda and a very tasty Orangutan!
Q: Why don't the orangutans in the jungle play poker any more?
A: There are just too many Cheetahs.
Q: Why are orangutans so noisy?
A: They were raised in a zoo!
How did a Orangutan come to be with Washington at Valley Forge?
He had seen a sign saying, 'Uncle Simian Wants You!'
Q: Why do orangutans have big nostrils?
A: Because they have big fingers!
Q: Why did the orangutan fall out of the tree?
A: It was dead.
Q: What do orangutans do when they're mad at each other?
A: They have a Gorilla war!
Q: Why did the orangutan go to the doctor?
A: Because his banana wasn't peeling very well!
Q: What should you do if you find a orangutan sitting at your school desk?
A: Sit somewhere else!
Q: What's a orangutan's favourite drink?
A: A sas-gorilla.