Koala Jokes - Animal Jokes

Back to: Animal Jokes

Bartender
A Koala bear walks into a bar, sits down and orders a BLT sandwich.
The Koala eats the BLT sandwich, gets up, spins around, pulls a pistol out of his pouch, shoots the piano player, and proceeds to walk out of the bar.
The bartender, in shock, shouts to the Koala, "Hey, who do you think you are, you ate my sandwich and shot my piano player, and just where do you think you're going!?"
The Koala replies, "Hey, I'm a Koala. Look it up."
The frustrated bartender pulls out a dictionary from behind the bar and looks up Koala:
The dictionary said "n. a marsupial that eats shoots and leaves."

Smoking a Joint
A koala is sitting up a Eucalypt tree ... smoking a joint when a little lizard walks past and looks up and says, "Hey Koala ! What are you doing?"
The koala says: "Smoking a joint, come up and have some."
So the little lizard climbs up and sits next to the koala and they have a few joints.
After a while the little lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river.
But the little lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river.
A crocodile sees this and swims over to the little lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the little lizard: "What's the matter with you?"
The little lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the koala in the Eucalypt tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink.
The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the rain forest, finds the Eucalypts tree where the koala is sitting finishing a joint, and he looks up and says "Hey you!"
So the koala looks down at him and says: "WTFFFF dude ... how much water did you drink?

Religious Australian Cowboy

The devout Australian cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later, a koala walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the koala's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the koala. "Your name is written inside the cover."

Nasty Little Australian Boy

A policeman caught a nasty little Australian boy with a BB gun in one hand and a koala in the other.
"Now Listen here," the policeman said,
"Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you"
"In that case," said the boy.
"I'll kiss it's butt and let it go"

Q: What's a Koalas favorite drink?
A: Coca Koala!

Q: Why are koala's so sleepy?
A: Because you just got to be tired being so darn cute all day!

Q: How does a koala get from one place to another?
A: On a gondkoala

Q: What did the grape say when the Koala stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Q: Why did the Koala cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Q: When does a Koala go "moo"?
A: When it is learning a new language!

Q: What do you call a Koala that can pick up an elephant ?
A: Sir!

Joke Generators:
Click Here for a random Pick Up Line
Click Here for a random Yo Mama Joke
Click Here for a random Dirty Joke
Click Here for a random Ethnic Joke
Click Here for a random Blonde Joke
Click Here for a random Knock Knock Joke
Click Here for a Random Joke (all other categories)