What do you call a hamster with a top hat?
What do you call a hamster with no legs?
Where does a hamster go for Spring Break?
What's gray and furry on the inside and white on the outside?
A hamster sandwich!
Why did the hamster run away?
Because it didn't have a wheel!
Why was the Hamster upset with his job?
It didn't pay enough salary (celery).
What did the mother hamster say to her children when they wanted a bedtime story?
I don't have a tale!
Where do hamsters come from?
What do you call a hamster with 3 legs?
What do you call a hamster that can pick up an elephant ?
What is small, furry and smells like bacon?
What is white and brown and eats hamster food?
When does a hamster take a bath?
When no one's looking!
What do you call a hamster that can't run in a wheel?
When do hamsters run away from rain?
When its raining cats and dogs!
The Rat and the Hamster
A drunk walks up to a barkeeper one day and says, "If I show you a trick will you give me a free drink?" The Barkeep says "Depends on how good of a trick it is."
The Drunk reaches into his pocket and pulls out a hamster and places him behind the piano. The hamster starts to play the sweetest jazz riff the barkeeper has ever heard. He pours the drunk his drink.
The drunk, after killing his drink says, "If I show you another trick can I have another free one?" The barkeep says "If it is anything like that last one, you can drink free all night."The drunk reaches into his other pocket, pulls out a rat, sets it on top of the piano, and the rat starts scatting along with the hamster."
Impressed, the barkeeper starts to pour drinks as fast as the drunk can drink 'em. After several hours, a big time Hollywood agent walks in, sees the act and franticaly asks the barkeeper who it belongs to. The barkeeper points tothe drunk who is passed out on the floor.
The agent wakes him up and says, "I will give you 1 Million dollars for that act." The drunks says "not for sale". The agent says, "Ok, 100 grand for just the scating rat."The drunk say, "deal" The agent writes the check and leaves with the rat.
The barkeeper looks at the drunk and says, "Are you nuts? You had a Million dollar act that you just broke up for a whimpy 100 g's?"
The Drunk says, "Relax, the hamster is a ventriloquist"
A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a hamster sitting next to him.
"Are you a hamster?" asked the man, surprised.
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The hamster replied, "Well, I liked the book."