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Goat Jokes


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What do you call an unemployed goat?
Billy Idol.

What do you call a goat at sea?
Billy Ocean.

What do you call a goat with one ear?
Van goat.

What do you call a spastic goat?
Billy the kid.

What do you call a goat that lip syncs?
Billy-Vanilli.

What do you call a Spanish goat with no back legs?
Gracias.

What do you call a redneck who owns 6 goats?
A pimp.

What do you call a goat with a beard?
Goatee!

What do you call the best 'butter' on the farm?
A goat!

Religious Cowboy

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later, a goat walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the goat's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the goat. "Your name is written inside the cover."


Night of Drinking
A man and his pet goat walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking.
They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.
Finally, the bartender says: "Last call."
So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my goat."
The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the goat falls over dead.
The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.
The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there."
To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a goat."

Movies
A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a goat sitting next to him.
"Are you a goat?" asked the man, surprised.
"Yes."
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The goat replied, "Well, I liked the book."

Front Seat
A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a goat in the front seat.
"What are you doing with that goat?" He exclaimed, "You should take it to the zoo."
The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the goat again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over.
"I thought you were going to take that goat to the zoo!"
The man replied, "I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!"

How do You?
A student named Jacob was sitting in class one day and the teacher walked by and he asked her "How do you put an elephant in the fridge?"
The teacher said "I don't know, how?"
Jacob then said "You open the door and put it in there!"
Then Jacob asked the teacher another question "How do you put a goat in the fridge?"
The teacher then replied "Ohh I know this one, you open the door and put it in there?"
Jacob said "No, you open the door, take the elephant out, and then you put it in there."
Then he asked another question..."All the animals went to the lions birthday party, except one animal, which one was it?"
The teacher a bit confused and said "The lion?"
Then the student said "No,the goat because he's still in the fridge."
then he asked her just one more question...."If there is a river full of crocodiles and you wanted to get across it,how would you"
The teacher then says "You would walk over the bridge."
Then Jacob says "No, you would swim across because all the crocodiles are at the lions birthday party!"
She laughs and walks away.

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