Frog Jokes


Why are frogs so happy?
They eat watever bugs them!

What do you call a woman with a frog on her head?
Lilly.

Whats a frogs favorite game?
It's croak-et!

What do headmasters and bullfrogs have in common?
Both have big heads that consist mostly of mouth!

What's the difference between a cat and a frog?
A Cat has nine lives but a Frog croaks every night!

What do you get when you cross a frog and a pig?
A lifetime ban from the Muppet Show studio.

How do frogs manage to lay so many eggs?
They sit eggsaminations!

Why are frogs so good at basketball?
Because they always make jump shots.

How do frogs die?
They kermit suicide!

What is the difference between a frog and a horny toad?
One says ribbit ribbit, and thie other one says rub-it rub-it!

What kind of shoes do frogs wear?
Open toad!

What do you call a talking frog?
A quantum leap.

What's a frogs favorite flower?
A croakus!

What do you call a frog hanging from a ceiling?
Mistletoad.

How do you make frog legs?
In a croak=pot.

Whats the preferred car of frogs?
The Beetle.

What do you get if you cross a frog and a dog?
A croaker spaniel!

What do you get when you cross a gator and a poison frog?
A croakadile.

What do you call an illegally parked frog?
Toad.

What do you call a rich frog?
A golf blooded amphibian!

What do toads drink?
Croak-a-cola!

What do you get if you cross a frog with a ferry?
A hoppercraft!

Why didn't the frog park on the side of the road?
He was afraid of getting toad!

What is worse than finding a maggot in your apple?
Finding half an apple!

Where do frogs keep there money?
In the riverbanks!

What do frogs drink?
Hot croako!

What do you get if cross a science fiction film with a toad?
Star Warts!

What kind of shoes to frogs like?
Open toad sandals!

Why did the tadpole feel lonely?
Because he was newt to the area!

Where do frogs keep their treasure?
In a croak of gold at the end of the rainbow!

Whats white on the outside, green on the inside and comes with relish and onions?
A hot frog!

What is a frogs favorite time?
Leap Year!

What did the bus driver say to the frog?
Hop on!

What do you call a frog with no hind legs?
Unhoppy!

What goes dot-dot-croak, dot-dash-croak?
Morse toad!

Whats the world weakest animal?
A toad, he croaks if you even touch him!

What kind of pole is short and floppy?
A tadpole!

What do you get when you cross a frog with a rabbit?
A bunny ribbit.

What happens when two frogs collide?
They get tongue tied!

What do you call a girl with a frog in her hair?
Lily!

What do drunk toads play?
Hop-scotch

What do you get when you cross a snake and a frog?
A jumprope!

Why did the toad become a lighthouse keeper?
He had his own frog horn!

What does a frog in Mcdonalds eat?
French Flies.

Where do you get frogs eggs?
At the spawn shop!

What does a frog say when it sees something great?
Toadly awesome!

What do stylish frogs wear?
Jumpsuits!

What did the frog say when he landed on a book?
Reddit!reddit!reddit!

How do frogs & rabbits settle their disputes?
They play hopscotch!

How does a frog win a gold medal?
In the long jump.

What's a toads favorite candy?
Lollihops!

What do you call a frog spy?
A croak and dagger agent!

How did the toad die?
He simply croaked!

What do you get when you cross a baseball player with a frog?
An outfielder who catches flies and then eats them.

What did the frog order at McDonald's?
French flies and a diet Croak

Where do frogs leave their hats and coats?
In the croakroom!

What do you say to a hitchhiking frog?
Hop in!

What do you call 144 frogs in a box?
Gross!

How does a frog pick his favorite baseball team?
He jumps on the bandwagon.

Did you hear about the frog who drowned?
She jumped off the deep end.

Why did the frog go to the bank with a gun?
He wanted to robbit.

What do you get when you plant a frog?
A cr-oak tree.

What is a frogs favorite place to eat?
At ihop!

What kind of music do frogs listen to?
Hip Hop

What kind of music do sophisticated frogs listen to?
Hopera.

Did you hear about the frog with glasses?
He had to go to the Hopthalmologist.

What did the sick frog need?
a Hoperation.

A cat told a frog "time flies when you are having fun"
The frog corrected her "Actually it's time is fun when you're having flies!"

When I was younger, I dressed ups a frog and robbed a bank. That was my first time that I Kerm-itted a crime.

I told the guy at the towing company "Your slimier than a frog?"
20 minutes later he sent me a toad truck.

Ever heard a frog fart? If not, you ain't squeezing him hard enough.

Religious Cowboy

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later, a frog walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the frog's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the frog. "Your name is written inside the cover."

Movies
A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a frog sitting next to him.
"Are you a frog?" asked the man, surprised.
"Yes."
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The frog replied, "Well, I liked the book."

The Library
One day the Library was lonely with no one in it for the librarian to help.
These two chickens came through the door screeching "bouk bouk."
The librarian quickly got up and gave them each 5 books.
The two chickens left satisfied. Just a few minutes later the same two chickens come through the door with no books screeching "bouk bouk."
The librarian once again jumps up and gives each chicken 15 books this time.
The chickens leave satisfied once again. Then again for the third time the chicken return screeching "bouk bouk"
But this rime being suspicious the librarian gives each chicken only one book because they have still have not returned the other books.
As the chickens leave the librarian slowly follows behind to see where all the books are going.
The chickens come to a stop and start throwing the books into a pond where some frogs grab the books and throw them behind their back croaking "red-it red-it"

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