Flies Jokes
What did papa firefly tell mama firefly?
Isn't our son too bright for his age!
Q: What do you call a Fly without wings?
A: A walk.
Q: What do you call a Fly with no wings or legs?
A: A roll.
What is the difference between a fly and a bird?
A bird can fly but a fly can't bird!
Why did the fly fly?
Because the spider spied 'er.
What goes "snap, crackle and pop"?
A firefly with a short circuit!
Which fly makes films?
Stephen Speilbug!
If there are 5 flies in the kitchen how do you know which one is the American Football player?
The one in the sugar bowl!
Why were the flies playing football in sauce
They where playing for the cup!
What vehicle has 4 wheels and flies?
a garbage truck.
What do Fireflies eat at a restraint?
A light meal.
Why do fireflies like the rain?
Because they are lightning bugs!
How do you make a firefly happy?
Cut off its tail and it will be de-lighted.
What do you call a fly that can dance?
A jitterbug.
How do fireflies start a race?
Ready steady glow!
What do you call a fly that is ill?
Answer: The flew
What did one firefly say to the other?
Got to glow now!
Why was the fly looking for the garbage can?
Because he was a litterbug.
Why did the firefly keep stealing things?
He was light fingered!
How do you keep flies out of the kitchen?
Put a pile of manure in the living room!
Eat shit. A billion flies can not be wrong.
Two flies sitting on a dog poo.
One farts.
The other says "Do you mind? I'm eating my dinner!"
Movies
A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a fly eating popcorn sitting next to him.
"Are you a fly?" asked the man, surprised.
"Yes."
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The fly replied, "Well, I liked the book."
Circus
A small fly asks his mother:
"Mom, can I go to the circus?"
"Yes, honey, but be very careful when people applaud!"
Fly Swatter
A woman arrives in the kitchen and sees her husband with a fly swatter and says "What are you doing?"
He replies: "I'm chasing the flies..."
She asks "Did you kill them?"
He says "As a matter of fact, yes, 3 males, 2 females"
Intrigued, she asks him: "How do you make the difference between females and males?"
He answers: "3 were on the beer can, 2 on the phone."