Donkey Jokes

Donkey Short Jokes

Q: What happens when your carrying a donkey and you chuckle so hard you drop him?
A: You're laughing your ass off.

Q: What did the donkey do when he got cut-off?
A: "Hee-Haw"nked.

Q: What happens when you buy a mini-donkey
A: Your getting a little ass!

Q: What do you call a donkey throwing nuts to the moon?
A: An ass throw nut (astronaut).

Q: What do donkeys send out near Christmas?
A: Mule-tide greetings.

Q: How do you compliment a donkey?
A: "Hey, nice ass!"

Q: What do you get cross an optimetrist convention and a donkey auction?
A: Two eyegl-asses for the price of one.

Q: What do you get when cross a donkey and an onion?
A: a piece of ass that'll bring a tear to your eye!

Q: What do you call a donkey that was born with a brain injury?
A: A dumb ass!!!

Q: What do you call a donkey with one leg ?
A: A wonkey donkey

Q: What do you call a donkey that keeps time?
A: Hourgl-ass.

What do you get when you cross a Donkey with a Motorcycle?
A Yam-Hee-Haw

Q: Did you hear about the hobo who thought he was a donkey?
A: His friends called him underp-ass.

Q: What do you call a donkey with a PHD?
A: A smart ass.

Q: What do you call ad donkey with a banjo?
A: Bluegr-ass

Q: What do you call a donkey with one leg and a bad eye ?
A: A winkey wonkey donkey

Q: What do you call a donkey with one leg and one eye while breaking wind ?
A: A stinkey winkey wonkey donkey

Q: What do you call a donkey with a drinking problem?
A: A winegl-ass.

Q: What do you call a donkey with built-in GPS?
A: Comp-ass.

Q: What do you call a Donkey that can go 0-40 in 3.4 seconds?
A: Fibergl-ass

Q: Did you hear about the donkey that was afraid to speak up for herself?
A: She was a candy-ass.

Q: What do you get when a donkey eats a porcupine?
A: A pain in the ass.

If you had a donkey and I had a chicken and if your donkey ate my chicken what will you have?
Three feet of my cock up your ass.

A man fell in love with his faithful female donkey, and decided to marry her.
At the wedding, the priest said, "Well, this is refreshing, it's usually the woman that's marrying the ass."

Are your other donkeys jealous because that's one fine ass

Donkey Bar Jokes

Bartender's Donkey
A man walks into a bar and sits down and orders a drink.
He then notices a Jar that is full of money. The man asks the bartender what the jar is for. The bartender then says that he has a donkey in the back room and if anyone can make him him laugh they win the money. If not they owe me 100 dollars.
The man say I can do it!
So he goes into the back room and about 5 minutes later the bartender hears the donkey laughing out loud. The man walks out and takes the money from the jar, thanks the bartender, and leaves.
About a month later the man comes back into the bar and there is a new jar of money. The man asks the bartender what the new jar of money is for.
The bartender looks at the man and says if you can make the donkey cry the money is yours, if not you owe me 100 dollars. The man says ok I'll do it!
He walks into the back room and about 2 minutes has goes by when the bartender hears the donkey crying. The man walks out and grabs the money out of the jar, but before the man leaves the bartender asks, "How did you make the donkey laugh?"
The man looks at the bartender and says, "Well the first time I told the donkey that I had a bigger pecker then he did".
"How did you make him cry?" ask the bartender?
Well I showed him.

Little Boy & Old Man
An old man and a little boy on a donkey were on their way into town. They passed by a group of people who said, "What a shame for that old man to be walking while that perfectly able-bodied boy rides that donkey."

So the boy got off the donkey and the old man got on. They later passed by some more people who said," Why should that little boy have to walk when they have a donkey to ride on.

So the little boy got on the donkey and they both rode it. After a while, they passed some more people. They overheard the people say, "That poor donkey must be wore out from carrying both of them."

So the little boy and old man picked up the donkey and started to carry it. They were carrying the donkey across a bridge. The weight of the donkey became just too unbearable and slipped from their grasp and went over the side of the bridge into the water and drowned.

The moral of the story is:
If You Try To Please Everyone You'll Eventually Lose Your ASS!

Religious Cowboy

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later, a donkey walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the donkey's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the donkey. "Your name is written inside the cover."

Night of Drinking
A man and his pet donkey walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking.
They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.
Finally, the bartender says: "Last call."
So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my donkey."
The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the donkey falls over dead.
The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.
The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there."
To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a donkey."

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a donkey sitting next to him.
"Are you a donkey?" asked the man, surprised.
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The donkey replied, "Well, I liked the book."

Front Seat
A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a donkey in the front seat.
"What are you doing with that donkey?" He exclaimed, "You should take it to the zoo."
The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the donkey again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over.
"I thought you were going to take that donkey to the zoo!"
The man replied, "I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!"

How do You?
A student named Jacob was sitting in class one day and the teacher walked by and he asked her "How do you put an elephant in the fridge?"
The teacher said "I don't know, how?"
Jacob then said "You open the door and put it in there!"
Then Jacob asked the teacher another question "How do you put a donkey in the fridge?"
The teacher then replied "Ohh I know this one, you open the door and put it in there?"
Jacob said "No, you open the door, take the elephant out, and then you put it in there."
Then he asked another question..."All the animals went to the lions birthday party, except one animal, which one was it?"
The teacher a bit confused and said "The lion?"
Then the student said "No,the donkey because he's still in the fridge."
then he asked her just one more question...."If there is a river full of crocodiles and you wanted to get across it,how would you"
The teacher then says "You would walk over the bridge."
Then Jacob says "No, you would swim across because all the crocodiles are at the lions birthday party!"
She laughs and walks away.

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