Dinosaur Jokes


Q: Why can't you hear a pterodactyl using the bathroom?
A: Because the 'p' is silent

Q: What do you call it when a dinosaur gets in a car accident?
A: Tyrannasaurus wreck!

Q: What do you call a dinosaur with a extensive vocabulary?
A: a thesaurus.

Q: What do you call a blind dinosaur?
A: adoyouthinkhesaurus.

Q: What do dinosaurs have that no other animals have?
A: Baby Dinosaurs.

Q: How do you ask a dinosaur to lunch?
A: Tea Rex?

Q: What do you call a T-Rex that gets into a fight with the Indominus Rex?
A: Dino-sore.

Q: What did the female dinosaur call her blouse making business?
A: Try Sara's Tops

Q: Why are dinosaurs no longer around?
A: Because their eggs stink.

Q: Who makes dinosaur clothes?
A: dino-sewer.

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road ?
A: The chicken hadn't evolved yet!

Q: Which dinosaur can't stay out of the rain?
A: A Stegosaur-rust

Q: What do you get if you cross a pig with a dinosaur ?
A: Jurassic Pork!

Q: What is a dinosaurs least favorite raindeer?
A: Comet.

Q: Where does a Tyrannosaurus sit when he comes to stay?
A: Anywhere he wants to.

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that's a noisy sleeper?
A: A Bronto-snorus.

Q: Why are there old dinosaur bones in the museum?
A: Because they can't afford new ones!

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Because the chicken joke wasn't invented yet.

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that eats it's vegetables?
A: A.brocileasoarus

Q: Can you name 10 dinosaurs in 10 seconds?
A: Yes, 8 Iguanadons and 2 Stegasaurus.

Q: What do you call a Triceratops who scores his first goal?
A: Dino- score!

Q: What do you call a dinosaur with a foul mouth?
A: Bronto-swore-us.

Q: Which dinosaur slept all day ?
A: The dino-snore!

Q. What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, and 12 claws on each foot?
A. Sir.

Q. What do you call a dinosaur as tall as a house, with long sharp teeth, 12 claws on each foot and a personal stereo over his ears?
A. Anything you like, he won't hear you!

Q. What do you get if you cross a mouse with a Triceratops?
A. Enormous holes in the base boards.

Q. How can you tell if there is a dinosaur in bed with you?
A. By the `D' on his pajamas.

Q. How do you know if there is a Brachiosaurus in bed with you?
A. By the dinosnores.

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A: Try and try and try and try-ceratops

Q: How do you upset a dinosaur?
A: Touchasaurus Spot.

Q: What made the dinosaur's car stop ?
A: A flat Tire-annosaurus !

Q: What do dinosaurs put on their pizza?
A: Tomato-saurus

Q: What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ?
A: Tyrannosaurus wrecks !

Q: What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use?
A: A dino-saw !

Q: What do you call a dinosaur at the rodeo?
A: Bronco-saurus or a Tyrannasourus Tex

Q: What do you call a dinosaur with one eye?
A: Doyouthinkhesawus

Q: What kind of dinosaur works for the police?
A: A trisara-cop.

Q: Where does a dinosaur lay in the sun?
A: At the dino-shore

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path?
A: Tyrannosaurus wrecks !

Q: What do you call Tyrannosaurus rex when it wears a cowboy hat and boots ?
A: Tyrannosaurus tex!

Q: Why do dinosaurs eat their food raw?
A: Cause they don't know how to cook

Q: What do you get when a dinosaur blows it's nose?
A: OUT of the way!!

Q: What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars?
A: Tyrannosaurus wrecks!

Q: What did the dinosaur say when he saw the volcano explode?
A: What a lavaly day!

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Because the chicken wasn't invented yet.

Q: What was the first car Henry Fordasaurus invented?
A: A Model T-Rex.

Q: What vehicle does T-Rex use to go from planet to planet?
A: A Dinosaucer

Q: Which dinosaur is pure evil?
A: Daemonosaurus.

Q: How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow?
A: Down in the mouth!

Q: What's green and purple and goes up and down?
A: Barney in an elevator.

Q: What did they call prehistoric sailing disasters?
A: Tyrannosaurus wrecks.

Q: What do your call a dinosaur with one eye?
A: Eye-saur.

Q: What kind of materials do dinosaurs use for the floor of their homes?
A: Rep Tiles

Q: What is the head of an Italian dinosaur family called?
A: Ptera Don

Q: What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ?
A: Find somewhere else to sleep!

Q: Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed?
A: Exactly the same as short dinosaurs!

Q: What do you say to a twenty ton dinosaur with headphones on?
A: Anything you want. He can't hear you.

Q: Why didn't the T-rex skeleton attack the museum visitors?
A: Because she had no guts!

Q: What do you call a Blind Dinosaur's Dog?
A: Do-ya-think-he-saurus-rex.

Q: What do you get when you put a bomb and a dinosaur together?
A: Dino-mite.

Q: What was the most flexible dinosaur?
A: Tyrannosaurus Flex.

Q: Why did the Apatosaurus devour the factory?
A: Because she was a plant eater!

Q: Why did the T-Rex eat hamburgers?
A: Because he is a meat eater!

Q: What did the Tyrannosaurus rex get after mopping the floor?
A: Dino-sore!

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that lost his glasses?
A: uthinkhesawrus

Q: Why did the dinosaurs go extinct?
A: Because they wouldn't take a bath !

Q: What makes more noise than a dinosaur ?
A: Two dinosaurs !

Q: What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears ?
A: Anything you want, it can't hear you!

Q: What does a Triceratops sit on?
A: Its Tricera-bottom.

Q: What kind of dinosaur can you ride in a rodeo?
A: A Bronco-saurus !

Q: What was the scariest prehistoric animal?
A: The Terror-dactyl !

Q: What has a spiked tail, plates on its back, and sixteen wheels?
A: A Stegosaurus on roller skates!

Q: What do you get if you cross a Triceratops with a kangaroo ?
A: A Tricera-hops!

Q: What family does Maiasaur belong to?
A: I don't think any families in our neighborhood have one!

Q: What made the dinosaur's car stop ?
A: A flat Tire-annosaurus !

Q: What do you get when dinosaurs crash their cars ?
A: Tyrannosaurus wrecks !

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that left its armor out in the rain ?
A: A Stegosau-rust !

Q: What's better than a talking dinosaur ?
A: A spelling bee !

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that never gives up?
A: Try-Try-Try-ceratops !

Q: What type of tool does a prehistoric reptile carpenter use?
A: A dino-saw !

Q: Who makes the best prehistoric reptile clothes ?
A: A dino-sewer !

Q: Which dinosaurs were the best policemen?
A: Tricera-cops !

Q: What do you call a dinosaur who is elected to Congress?
A: Rep. Tile!

Q: Where do prehistoric reptiles like to go on vacation?
A: To the dino-shore !

Q: Where did Velociraptor buy things?
A: At a dino-store!

Q: What's worse than a giraffe with a sore throat?
A: A Diplodocus with a sore throat!

Q: How many dinosaurs can fit in an empty box ?
A: One . After that, the box isn't empty anymore!

Q: How can you tell if there's a dinosaur in the refrigerator ?
A: The door won't close!

Q: What do you call a dinosaur with high heels?
A: My-feet-are-saurus

Q: How do you make a dinosaur float?
A: Put a scoop of ice cream in a glass of root beer, and add one dinosaur !

Q: When can three giant dinosaurs get under an umbrella and not get wet?
A: When it's not raining!

Q: Which type of dinosaur could jump higher than a house ?
A: Any kind! A house cannot jump!

Q: What weighs 800 pounds and sticks to the roof of your mouth ?
A: A peanut butter and Stegosaurus sandwich!

Q: What do you do if you find a blue Ichthyosaur ?
A: Cheer him up!

Q: Why don't dinosaurs ever forget?
A: Because no one ever tells them anything!

Q: What does a giant Tyrannosaurus eat?
A: Anything she wants!

Q: What's the difference between a strawberry and a Tyrannosaurus?
A: The strawberry is red!

Q: Why did the dinosaur paint her toenails red?
A: So she could hide in the strawberry patch!

Q: What do you get when a dinosaur walks through the strawberry patch?
A: Strawberry jam !

Q: What should you do if you find a dinosaur in your bed ?
A: Find somewhere else to sleep!

Q: Do you know how long dinosaurs should be fed?
A: Exactly the same as short dinosaurs !

Q: What do you need to know to teach a dinosaur tricks?
A: More than the dinosaur !

Q: How did the dinosaur feel after he ate a pillow?
A: Down in the mouth !

Q: How much fur can you get from a dinosaur ?
A: As fur as you can get!

Q: Why do dinosaurs eat raw meat?
A: Because they don't know how to cook !

Q: What did dinosaurs have that no others animals ever had?
A: Baby dinosaurs!

Q: Where was the dinosaur when the sun went down ?
A: In the dark!

Q: Did the dinosaur take a bath ?
A: Why, is there one missing?

Q: Why does a brontosaurus have a long neck?
A: Because it's feet smell.

Q: What does a dinosaur call a porcupine?
A: A toothbrush.

Q: What is in the middle of dinosaurs ?
A: The letter "s"!

Q: Where do dinosaurs get their mail ?
A: At the dead-letter office!

Q: What's as big as a dinosaur but weighs nothing?
A: Her shadow!

Q: What's green and hangs from trees?
A: Dinosaur snot.

Q: What do you get when a dinosaur sneezes?
A: Out of the way!

Q: What's the best way to talk to a Tyrannosaur ?
A: Long distance!

Q: What dinosaur is always sad?
A: Cryalotosaurus

Q: What do you say when you meet a two-headed dinosaur?
A: Hello, hello!

Q: Is it true that a dinosaur won't attack if you hold a tree branch?
A: That depends on how fast you carry it!

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that eats fireworks?
A: A dino-mite

Q: What do you call a dinosaur that's a loud sleeper?
A: A Snore-a-sorus

Girl, if you were a dinosaur, you'd be a Gorgeousaurus

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