Back to: Animal Jokes
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!
Q: Why did the turkey cross the road?
A: To prove he wasn't chicken!
Q: Why did the chicken go to KFC?
A: He wanted to see a chicken strip.
Q: Why did the rooster cross the road?
A: To cockadoodle dooo something!
Q: Did you hear about the chicken who could only lay eggs in the winter?
A: She was no spring chicken.
Q: Which day of the week do chickens hate most?
Q: How did the headless chicken cross the road?
A: in a KFC bucket.
Q: What happens when you drop a hand gren-egg?
A: It eggs-plodes!
Q: What do you call a chicken with a piece of lettuce in its eye?
A: CHICKEN CAESER SALAD (CHICKEN SEES A SALAD)
Q: Why did the piece of gum cross the road?
A: Because it was stuck to the chicken's foot.
Q: Why did the chick disappoint his mother?
A: He wasn't what he was cracked up to be!
Q: Whats the difference between meat and chicken?
A: If you beat your chicken it dies.
Q: What did one chicken say to the other after they walked through poison ivy?
A: "You scratch my beak and I'll scratch yours!"
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road, roll in the mud and cross the road again?
A: Because he was a dirty double-crosser!
Q: What did the chicken do when he saw a bucket of fried chicken?
A: She kicked the bucket!
Q: What do you get if you cross a chicken with a cement mixer?
A: A brick layer!
Q: Why did half a chicken cross the road?
A: To get to its other side!
Q: How do you get a fat chick into bed?
A: Piece of Cake.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
A: He was a double-crosser!
Q: What do you call a crazy chicken?
A: A cuckoo cluck!
Q: Why did the chewing gum cross the road?
A: Because it was stuck to chickens bum.
Q: What happened to the chicken whose feathers were all pointing the wrong way?
A: She was tickled to death!
Q: Why don't chickens like people?
A: They beat eggs!
Q: Why did the rooster run away?
A: He was chicken!
Q: What do chickens grow on?
Q: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
A: He heard the referee calling fowls
Q: Why is it easy for chicks to talk?
A: Because talk is cheep!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide.
Q: What do you get when you cross a rooster with a telephone pole?
A: a 10 foot cock that wants to touch someone.
Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken with a duck?
A: A bird that lays down!
Q: What happens when a hen eats gunpowder?
A: She lays hand gren-eggs!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the "net"?
A: It wanted to get to the other site!
Q: What does a chicken need to lay an egg every day?
Q: Why did McDonald's run out of chicken McNuggets?
A: The farmer counted his chickens before they hatched.
Q: What do you call a rooster who wakes you up at the same time every morning?
A: An alarm cluck!
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road half way?
A: He wanted to lay it on the line!
Q: What do chicken families do on Saturday afternoon?
A: They go on peck-nics!
Q: What do you get when you cross a chicken and a four-leaf clover?
A: The Cluck o'the Irish!
Q: What do chickens serve at birthday parties?
Q: What do you get when a chicken lays an egg on top of a barn?
A: An eggroll!
Q: How do chickens bake a cake?
A: From scratch!
Q: What bird is always sad?
A: The blue jay
Q: What did the sick chicken say?
A: "I have the people-pox!"
Q: How does a chicken mail a letter to her friend?
A: In a HEN-velope!
Q: What do you call the outside of a hand gren-egg?
A: The bombshell!
Q: What does an alarm cluck say?
Q: What do you call a group of chickens clucking in unison?
A: A Hensemble.
Q: Why does a chicken coop have two doors?
A: Because if had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!
Q: Why did the t-rex cross the road?
A: Because the chicken hadn't evolved yet
Q: Why don't chickens wear pants?
A: There peckers on their face.
Q: Why did the pervert cross the road?
A: Because he couldnt get his cock out of the chicken.
Q: Why didn't the chicken cross the road?
A: Because they were chicken
Q: Why did the chicken stand in the middle of the road?
A: Coz he wanted to play squash!
I hope one day chickens will be able to cross the road without being judged on their motives.
Girl, if you were a chicken you'd be impeccable.
Psychiatrist: What seems to be the problem?
Patient: I think I'm a chicken.
Psychiatrist: How long as this been going on?
Patient: Ever since I came out of my shell.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to your house.
Moral Of The Story
A horse and a chicken are playing in a meadow. The horse falls into a mud hole and is sinking. He calls to the chicken to go and get the farmer to help pull him out to safety. The chicken runs to the farm but the farmer can't be found. So he drives the farmer's BMW back to the mud hole and ties some rope around the bumper. He then throws the other end of the rope to his friend, the horse, and drives the car forward saving him from sinking!
A few days later, the chicken and horse were playing in the meadow again and the chicken fell into the mud hole. The chicken yelled to the horse to go and get some help from the farmer. The horse said, "I think I can stand over the hole!" So he stretched over the width of the hole and said, "Grab for my penis and pull yourself up." And the chicken did and pulled himself to safety.
Moral of the Story: If you're hung like a horse, you don't need a BMW to pick up chicks.
The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later, a chicken walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the chicken's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the chicken. "Your name is written inside the cover."
Night of Drinking
A man and his pet chicken walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking.
They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.
Finally, the bartender says: "Last call."
So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my chicken."
The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the chicken falls over dead.
The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.
The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there."
To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a chicken."
A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a chicken sitting next to him.
"Are you a chicken?" asked the man, surprised.
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The chicken replied, "Well, I liked the book."
One day the Library was lonely with no one in it for the librarian to help.
These two chickens came through the door screeching "bouk bouk."
The librarian quickly got up and gave them each 5 books.
The two chickens left satisfied. Just a few minutes later the same two chickens come through the door with no books screeching "bouk bouk."
The librarian once again jumps up and gives each chicken 15 books this time.
The chickens leave satisfied once again. Then again for the third time the chicken return screeching "bouk bouk"
But this rime being suspicious the librarian gives each chicken only one book because they have still have not returned the other books.
As the chickens leave the librarian slowly follows behind to see where all the books are going.
The chickens come to a stop and start throwing the books into a pond where some frogs grab the books and throw them behind their back croaking "red-it red-it"
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