Buffalo Jokes


Q: What did mama buffalo say when her youngest went off to college?
A: "Bison!"

Q: How can you tell if a buffalo is under your sleeping bag?
A: The ceiling of your tent is very close.

Q: What do you find between the hooves of buffaloes?
A: Slow buffalo hunters.

Q: What did the grape say when the buffalo stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Q: What do you get when you cross peanut butter with a buffalo?
A: You either get peanut butter that roams the range or a buffalo that sticks to the roof of your mouth.

Q: How can you tell a buffalo from a field mouse?
A: Try to pick it up. If you can't, it's either a buffalo or a very overweight mouse.

Q: What time is it when a buffalo sits in your canoe?
A: Time to get a new canoe.

Q: How do you make sense out of a water buffalo?
A: With buffalo nickels.

Q: What has 2 tails, 3 horns and 6 feet?
A: A water buffalo with spare parts!

Q: Why did the buffalo cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Q: What do you call an buffalo at the North Pole?
A: Lost!

Q: What's brown but turns red?
A: An embarrassed buffalo!

Q: What the difference between a Buffalo and Bison?
A: You can't wash your hands in a buffalo!

Q: What is as big as a buffalo but weighs nothing?
A: Its shadow!

Q: What kind of car does a buffalo drive?
A: A Furrari.

Q: What do you call a single buffalo?
A: A buffalonely

Q: What is the Native Americans name for buffalo that can fly?
A: Buffalo Wild Wings

Q: What do you call a buffalo in a phone booth?
A: Stuck!

Q: What animal is always the designated driver?
A: The water buffalo.

Q: What happens when 2 single buffalo meet up, fall in love and run away to get married?
A: they buffalope

Q: What time is it when a buffalo sits on your bed?
A: Time to get a new bed!

Q: How do you know when there is an buffalo under your bed?
A: When your nose touches the ceiling!

Q: What do you call an buffalo with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can't hear you!

Q: What kind of milk comes from a forgetful buffalo?
A: Milk of Amnesia

Q: What do you call a buffalo that doesn't give milk?
A: A MILK DUD!

Q: How do you make a milkshake?
A: Give a buffalo a pogo stick.


Buffalo Theory

A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo, much like the brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells.

The slowest buffalo are the sick and weak so they die off first, making it possible for the herd to move at a faster pace. Like the buffalo, the weak, slow brain cells are the ones that are killed off by excessive beer drinking and socializing, making the brain operate faster.

The moral of the story: Drink more beer, it will make you smarter.

Religious Cowboy

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later, a buffalo walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the buffalo's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the buffalo. "Your name is written inside the cover."


Night of Drinking
A man and his pet buffalo walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking.
They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.
Finally, the bartender says: "Last call."
So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my buffalo."
The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the buffalo falls over dead.
The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.
The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there."
To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a buffalo."

Lone Ranger
The Lone Ranger and tonto were riding through the prarie when all of a sudden tonto stops and puts his ear to the ground,
The Lone Ranger says "What are you doing tonto?"
Tonto says " kemosabbie, buffalo come"
The Lone Ranger then says, "how can you tell?"
Tonto replies " ear sticky"

Movies
A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a buffalo sitting next to him.
"Are you a buffalo?" asked the man, surprised.
"Yes."
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The buffalo replied, "Well, I liked the book."

Front Seat
A policeman in the big city stops a man in a car with a baby buffalo in the front seat.
"What are you doing with that buffalo?" He exclaimed, "You should take it to the zoo."
The following week, the same policeman sees the same man with the buffalo again in the front seat, with both of them wearing sunglasses. The policeman pulls him over.
"I thought you were going to take that buffalo to the zoo!"
The man replied, "I did. We had such a good time we are going to the beach this weekend!"

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