Q: What birds spend all their time on their knees?
A: Birds of prey!
Q: What did they call the canary that flew into the pastry dish?
A: Tweetie Pie!
Q: What kind of birds do you usually find locked up?
A: Jail-birds!
Q: How do you get a cut-price parrot?
A: Plant bird seed!
Q: Why is a sofa like a roast chicken?
A: Because they're both full of stuffing!
Q: What do you call a bunch of chickens playing hide-and-seek?
A: Fowl play!
Q: What happens when ducks fly upside down?
A: They quack up!
Q: Why did the owl, owl?
A: Because the woodpecker would peck 'er!
Q: What flies through the jungle singing opera?
A: The parrots of Penzance!
Q: What do you get if you cross a duck with a firework?
A: A firequaker!
Q: What is a parrot's favorite game?
A: Hide and Speak!
Q: Why did the parrot wear a raincoat?
A: Because she wanted to be a Polly unsaturated!
Q: What did the gamekeeper say to the lord of the manor?
A: 'The pheasants are revolting'!
Q: What is the definition of Robin?
A: A bird who steals!
Q: What do you give a sick bird?
A: Tweetment!
Q: What's another name for a clever duck?
A: A wise quacker!
Q: Which bird is always out of breath?
A: A puffin!
Q: What's got six legs and can fly long distances?
A: Three swallows!
Q: What is a duck's favorite TV show?
A: The feather forecast!
Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a shark?
A: A bird that will talk you ear off!
Q: What do you call a crate of ducks?
A: A box of quackers!
Q: How do you know that owls are cleverer than chickens?
A: Have you ever heard of Kentucky-fried owl!
Q: Which birds steal soap from the bath?
A: Robber ducks!
Q: What kind of bird opens doors?
A: A kiwi!
Q: What language do birds speak?
A: Pigeon English!
Q: How do you get a parrot to talk properly?
A: Send him to polytechnic!
Q: Where do birds invest their money?
A: In the stork market!
Q: Where do blind sparrows go for treatment?
A: The Birds Eye counter!
Q: What do you get if you cross a parrot with a woodpecker?
A: A bird that talks in morse code!
Q: What do you call a woodpecker with no beak?
A: A headbanger!
Q: What do owls sing when it is raining?
A: 'Too wet to woo'!
Q: What do baby swans dance to?
A: Cygnet-ure-tunes!
Q: Why do birds fly south?
A: Because it is to far to walk
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