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Jay Leno Jokes -
Tom Delay Jokes


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"Tom DeLay said he had a new priority in life -- outlawing prison rape." --Jay Leno

"Remember when Republicans, like Newt Gingrich and Bob Livingston, when they got in trouble it was for sex scandals? See Tom DeLay is in trouble for money. Or as Republicans would call it -- this is a return to traditional values." --Jay Leno

"Tom DeLay is in a little bit of trouble. He says he didn't know that lobbying groups were illegally funding the trips he took all over the world. Don't you love this? When ever these guys are running for office they always tell us how smart they are, how knowledgeable they are, how they know what's going on. As soon as they get caught doing something wrong 'I'm an idiot. I didn't know what was going on.'" -Jay Leno

"Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld warned Iraq's new leaders against hiring their friends and family members for government jobs, and then Majority Leader Tom Delay gave the rebuttal." --Jay Leno

"A man in West Bend, Wisconsin who bought a shirt at the local goodwill store found $2,000 stuffed inside the pocket, isn't that amazing? The more amazing part is how did one of Tom DeLay's old shirts wind up in Wisconsin?" --Jay Leno

"Did you know today was take your daughter to work day? Tom DeLay celebrated by taking his daughter to work. He also took his wife, two cousins, and a couple lobbyists" --Jay Leno

"Bush was briefly moved to an underground bunker when an aircraft entered restricted airspace over Washington. ... A false alarm -- it was just Tom DeLay on another free trip paid for by lobbyists." --Jay Leno

"It has now been revealed that a Washington lobbyist personally paid for Tom DeLay's trips using his own credit card. Even more embarrassing, the lobbyist also put the purchase of Tom DeLay on his credit card." --Jay Leno

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