Atlanta Thrashers Jokes
Q: What do the Atlanta Thrashers and the Titanic have in common?
A: They both look good until they hit the ice!
Q: What's the difference between Frequent Flyer Miles and the Atlanta Thrashers?
A: Frequent Flyer Miles earn points.
Q: Why do Thrashers fans drink from a saucer?
A: Because the cup's always in Detroit!
Q: Why did the Thrashers enforcer retire early?
A: He was ice fishing and got run over by the zamboni!
Q: Why don't the Thrashers drink tea?
A: Because the Canadiens and Red Wings have all the cups.
Q: What do you call 5 Atlanta Thrashers players standing ear to ear?
A: A wind tunnel.
Q: Why are the Thrashers like grizzly bears?
A: Every fall they go into hibernation.
Q: What does a recent high school dropout and the Atlanta Thrashers have in common?
A: They're both young, have no goals and no good prospects.
Q: What's the difference between a line of cocaine and a pair of Trashers tickets?
A: People would pass up a pair of Trashers tickets.
Q: What's the difference between a fat chick and the Thashers?
A: Even a fat chick scores every once in a while!
Q: Why do the Thrashers suck at geometry?
A: Because they never have any points.
Q: What is it called when a Atlanta Thrashers player blows in another Thrashers players ear?
A: Data transfer.
Q: What do college students and the Thrashers have in common?
A: They've both finished their year by April.
Q: What's blue and orange and goes down the toilet faster than Liquid Plumber?
A: The Atlanta Thrashers
Q: What do a fine wine and the Atlanta Thrashers have in common?
A: They both spend a lot of time in the cellar, cost too much and are only enjoyed on select occasions.
Q: Why did the Post Office recall their latest stamps?
A: They had pictures of Thrashers players on them and people couldn't figure out which side to spit on.
Q: Why do people like driving a car with a Thrashers fan?
A: Because you can park in the handicap zone!
Q: What do you get when you combine all 23 Atlanta Thrashers with 23 lesbians?
A: Fourty-Six people that dont do dick!
Q: What is the difference between a Atlanta Thrashers fan and a pot hole?
A: I would swerve to avoid the pot hole!
Q: What song do Atlanta Thrashers fans sing before the end of the third period?
A: Nobody knows. There's never any of them left.
Q: Whats the difference between the Atlanta Thrashers and a mosquito?
A: A mosquito stops sucking.
Q: What do the Atlanta Thrashers and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!
Q: What is the difference between a Thrashers fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.
Q: Did you hear the Atlanta Thrashers are moving to the Phillipines?
A: They are going to be called the Manilla Folders!
Q: What do I have in common with the Atlanta Thrashers?
A: Next week, we'll both be watching the Stanley Cup Finals on television.
Q: What do Atlanta Thrashers fans and sperm have in common?
A: One in 3,000,000 has a chance of becoming a human being.
Q: How many Atlanta Thrashers does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up
Q: What do you call 23 millionaires around a TV watching the Stanley Cup Finals?
A: The Atlanta Thrashers.
Q: How can you tell if a Thrashers fan just sent you a fax?
A: There's a stamp on it!
Q: What do the Atlanta Thrashers and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 15,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".
Q: What is the difference between a bucket of shit and an Atlanta Thrashers fan?
A: The bucket.
Q: If you have a car containing a Thrashers forward, a Thrashers center, and a Thrashers defender, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.
Q: How do you casterate an Atlanta Thrashers fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth
Q: What should you do if you find three Atlanta Thrashers hockey fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Q: What's the difference between an Atlanta Thrashers fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.
Q. How did the Atlanta Thrashers fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!
Q: What does an Atlanta Thrashers fan do when his team has won the Stanley Cup?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.
Q: How many Atlanta Thrashers fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!
Q: What does a Atlanta Thrashers fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.
Q: Why do Atlanta Thrashers fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.
Q: How do the Thrashers spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights
Q: How do you keep a Thrashers fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Flyers orange and black and he won't beat it for years!
Q. Why do ducks fly over Philips Arena upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!
Q: Why doesn't Augusta have a professional hockey team?
A: Because then Atlanta would want one.
Q: Did you hear that Atlanta's hockey team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.
Q: What's the difference between a Philips Arena hotdog, and a Wells Fargo Center hotdog?
A: You can buy a Wells Fargo Center hotdog in May!
Q: Why did BP hire the Atlanta Thrashers to clean up the Gulf oil spill?
A: Because they'll go out there and throw in the towel!
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead Atlanta Thrashers fan in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog
Q: What is a Atlanta Thrashers fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Philadelphia."
Q: How do you stop an Atlanta Thrashers fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Philadelphia Orange and Black!
Q: What's the difference between the Philips Arena and a red light district?
A: In a red light district, you pay $300 bucks and somebody scores.
Q: What's the difference between the Atlanta Hawks and the Atlanta Thrashers?
A: The Hawks shoot at a net.
Q: Why are the Atlanta Thrashers like the United States Postal Service?
A: They both wear uniforms and don't deliver!
Q: Why are Atlanta Thrashers jokes getting dumber and dumber?
A: Because Thrashers fans have started to make them up themselves.
Q: What's the difference between the Atlanta Thrashers and a pinball machine?
A: The pinball machine scores more often and has more points.
According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent are Atlanta Thrashers fans.
Can a Thrashers player drive a stick?
Only if they remove the clutch.
My wife was about to put my son in a Thrashers jersey, but I reminded her it was a choking hazard.
I took my broken vacuum cleaner back to the store.
They put a Thrashers jersey on it and now it sucks again.
Why did the Atlanta Thrashers fan cross the road.....I was thinking when I accelerated.
Reckless Driver
A Thrashers fan liked to amuse himself by scaring every Flyers fan he saw strutting down the street in an obnoxious hockey jersey. He would swerve his van as if to hit them, then swerve back just missing them.
One day while driving along, he saw a priest. He thought he would do a good deed, so he pulled over and asked the priest, "Where are you going, Father?"
"I'm going to give Mass at St. Francis church, about two miles down the road," replied the priest.
"Climb in, Father. I'll give you a lift!" The priest climbed into the passenger seat, and they continued down the road.
Suddenly, the driver saw a Flyers fan walking down the road, and he instinctively swerved as if to hit him. But, as usual, he swerved back onto the road just in time.
Even though he was certain that he had missed the guy, he still heard a loud THUD. not knowing where the noise came from, he glanced in his mirrors but still didn't see anything.
He then remembered the priest, and he turned to the priest and said, "sorry Father, I almost hit that Flyers fan."
"That's OK," replied the priest "I got him with the door."
Better at Sex
There were two men, one was a Thrashers fan and the other was a Flyers fan.
These men were both madly in love with the same woman. So the woman challenged that whichever man does a better job at having sex with her would be her boyfriend.
Both men accepted the challenge.
That night, the woman had sex with the Thrashers fan and then the other night had sex with the Flyers fan. The next day the woman chose the Flyers fan to be her boyfriend.
Shocked and outraged, the Thrashers fan asked why she didn't choose him.
She replied by saying, "You, like your team not only come up short but always finish early!"
Career Day
It's career day in elementry school where each student talks about what their dad does. Little Johnny is last, and finally the teacher calls on him to talk about his dad. Johnny comes to the front of the class.
'My daddy is a dancer at a gay bar. He takes off his clothes for other men, and if they pay him enough money, he goes into the alley and performs sex acts on them.'
The teacher is shocked, and she calls for an early recess for the rest of the class. She sits down with Johnny and asks him if this is really true about his dad.
Johnny says; 'No, but I was too embarrassed to say he played for the Atlanta Thrashers.'
First Grade
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Atlanta Thrashers fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Thrashers fans, too.
Not really knowing what a Thrashers fan was, but wanting to be like their teacher, hands explode into the air. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Mary has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. "Because I'm not a Thrashers fan."
"Then," asks the teacher, "what are you?"
"Why I'm proud to be a Philadelphia Flyers fan.", boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks Mary why she is a Flyers fan.
"Well, My Dad and Mom are Flyers fans, and I'm a Flyers fan, too!"
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron, What would you be then?"
A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Mary, "I'd be a Thrashers fan."
Skunk
"A skunk walk's into a bar and sees 3 guys in the corner wearing Thrashers jerseys.
He turns to the bartender and says "Ya'll think I stink."