Jokes4us.com

Click Here to Bookmark Jokes4us.com

Basketball Jokes


   Back to: Sports Jokes

Q: How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
A: Because it heard the referee was blowing fouls.

Q: Why are basketball players messy eaters?
A: They're always dribbling.

Q: What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
A: Juan on Juan.

Q: Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
A: She ran away from the ball.

Q: Why did Ron Artest leave the game early?
A: He wanted to beat the crowd.

Q: How do you know when it's Lebron James' Birthday?
A: Everyone gets to leave work 12 minutes early.

Q: How do you know you've found Lebron James' cell phone?
A: It vibrates and receives calls, but doesn't have a ring!

Q: What's the difference between the Miami Heat and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: What do you call 12 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA Finals?
A: The Detroit Pistons.

Q: How do you keep an Milwaukee Bucks player out of your yard?
A: Put up a basketball net.

Q: What should you do if you find three Los Angeles Lakers basketball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

Q: What does an Miami Heat fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

Q: Did you hear about the basketball team that doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

I play in the over-40 basketball league. We don't have jump balls. The ref just puts the ball on the floor and whoever can bend over and pick it up gets possession.

Basketball is America's favorite "running" sport. Number two is avoiding child support payments.

No, but they gave one to me anyway. - L.A. Lakers rookie Elden Campbell when asked if he earned a degree at Clemson University


If shaquille o'neal was a shad of blue he would be shaquille o'teal

Heat Fan

A Heat fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Deep Red and Orange jersey. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St. Peter.
"Hello mate" says St. Peter, "I'm sorry, no Heat fans in heaven."
"What ?" exclaims the man, astonished.
"You heard, no Heat fans."
"But, but, but, I've been a good man", replies the Heat supporter.
"Oh really", says St. Peter. "What have you done, then ?"
"Well" said the supporter, "Three weeks before I died, I gave 100 dollars to the starving children in Africa".
"Oh" says St.Peter. "anything else?"
"Well, 2 weeks before I died I also gave 100 dollars to the homeless."
"Hmmm. Anything else?"
"Yeah. A week before I died I gave 100 dollars to the Albanian orphans."
"Okay", said St. Peter, "You wait here a minute while I have a word with the god."
Ten minutes pass before St. Peter returns.
He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me. Here's your $300 dollars back, now fuck off".

Andrew Bogut

Andrew Bogut walks into a sperm donor bank in London...
"I'd like to donate some sperm" he says to the receptionist.
"Certainly Sir" replies the receptionist, "have you donated before?".
"Yes" replies Andrew "you should have my details on your computer".
"Oh yes, I've found your details" says the receptionist "but I see you're going to need help. Shall I call your wife for you?"
"Why do I need help?" asks Andrew . The receptionist replies
"Well, it says on your record that you're a useless wanker...."

Condoms

What's clear and goes on a prick? A clear condom,
What's black and goes on a prick? A black condom,
What's orange and deep red and goes on a prick? A Heat Jersey.


  • Atlanta Hawks Jokes
  • Boston Celtics Jokes
  • Charlotte Bobcats Jokes
  • Chicago Bulls Jokes
  • Cleveland Cavaliers Jokes
  • Dallas Mavericks Jokes
  • Denver Nuggets Jokes
  • Detroit Pistons Jokes
  • Golden State Warriors Jokes
  • Houston Rockets Jokes
  • Indiana Pacers Jokes
  • Los Angeles Clippers Jokes
  • Los Angeles Lakers Jokes
  • Memphis Grizzlies Jokes
  • Miami Heat Jokes
  • Milwaukee Bucks Jokes
  • Minnesota Timberwolves Jokes
  • New Jersey Nets Jokes
  • New Orleans Hornets Jokes
  • New York Knicks Jokes
  • Oklahoma City Thunder Jokes
  • Orlando Magic Jokes
  • Philadelphia 76ers Jokes
  • Phoenix Suns Jokes
  • Portland Trail Blazers Jokes
  • Sacramento Kings Jokes
  • San Antonio Spurs Jokes
  • Toronto Raptors Jokes
  • Utah Jazz Jokes
  • Washington Wizards Jokes
    Joke Generators:
  • Click Here for a random Pick Up Line
  • Click Here for a random Yo Mama Joke
  • Click Here for a random Dirty Joke
  • Click Here for a random Ethnic Joke
  • Click Here for a random Blonde Joke
  • Click Here for a random Knock Knock Joke
  • Click Here for a Random Joke (all other categories)




  •   Jokes4us.com   Privacy Policy