Q: How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
A: Because it heard the referee was blowing fouls.
Q: Why are basketball players messy eaters?
A: They're always dribbling.
Q: What did the march say to all the madness?
A: What's all that bracket
Q: What do you call two Mexicans playing basketball?
A: Juan on Juan.
Q: Why was Cinderella thrown off the basketball team?
A: She ran away from the ball.
Q: Why did Ron Artest leave the game early?
A: He wanted to beat the crowd.
Q: How do you know when it's Lebron James' Birthday?
A: Everyone gets to leave work 12 minutes early.
Q: What does a basketball player do when he loses his eyesight?
A: Become a referee.
Q: What do you call a piece of cheese that likes to shoot hoops?
Q: How do you know you've found Lebron James' cell phone?
A: It vibrates and receives calls, but doesn't have a ring!
Q: What's the difference between the Miami Heat and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.
Q: What do you call 12 millionaires around a TV watching the NBA Finals?
A: The Detroit Pistons.
Q: Why is a referee like an angry chicken?
A: They both have foul mouths.
Q: How do you keep an Milwaukee Bucks player out of your yard?
A: Put up a basketball net.
Q: Why was the basketball court wet?
A: Because people were dribbling on it!
Q: What should you do if you find three Los Angeles Lakers basketball fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.
Q: What does an Miami Heat fan do when his team has won the NBA Finals?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.
Q: Did you hear about the basketball team that doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.
I play in the over-40 basketball league. We don't have jump balls. The ref just puts the ball on the floor and whoever can bend over and pick it up gets possession.
Basketball is America's favorite "running" sport. Number two is avoiding child support payments.
No, but they gave one to me anyway. - L.A. Lakers rookie Elden Campbell when asked if he earned a degree at Clemson University