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Hooker One-Liners Jokes


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Q: What do you get when you cross a hooker with a systems engineer?
A: A fuckin know-it-all!

Q: What do you call kids born in whorehouses?
A: Brothel sprouts.

Q: Did you hear about the hooker that had her appendix taken out?
A: Now she does business on the side!

Q: What do you call an Italian hooker?
A: a pastatute.

Q: Did you know that O.J. Simpson, Monica Lewinsky, Ted Kennedy, and President Bill Clinton are all avid golfers?
A: O.J.'s a slicer, Monica's a hooker, Ted Kennedy can't drive over water, and Clinton can't seem to hit the right hole!

Q: Who makes more money a drug dealer or a hooker?
A: A hooker because she can wash her crack and reuse it.

Q: What do you call a Serbian prostitute?
A: Sloberdown Mycockyoubitch

Q: What does bungee jumping and hookers have in common?
A: They both cost a hundred bucks and if the rubber breaks, you're screwed.

Q: Did you hear about the Chinese prostitute that had a black baby?
A: She named him Sum Ting Wong!

Q: Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backward?
A: They like the part where the hooker gives the money back.

Q: How many cops does it take to push a hooker down the stairs?
A: None "She fell"

Q: What's the difference between an epileptic oyster fisherman, and a hooker with diahrrea?
A: Well, one shucks between fits.

Q: What do you tell a Hooker with 2 black eyes?
A: Nothing. You've already told her twice!

Q: Whats the difference between a hooker and a Kit Kat?
A: You only get 4 fingers in a Kit Kat!

Q: Why did the Hooker fall out of the tree?
A: Because, she was dead!

Q: What do you call a Hooker with no legs?
A: A nightcrawler!

Q: What's the difference between your job and a Dead Hooker?
A: Your job still sucks!

Q: What's the difference between a whore and a bitch?
A: Whore's fuck everyone at the party, Bitches fuck everyone at the party except you.

Q: What's the difference between Jello and a Dead Hooker?
A: Jello wiggles when you eat it!

Q: What's the difference between a Dead Hooker in the road and a dead dog in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dead dog!

Q: What's the difference between a Corvette and a Dead Hooker?
A: I don't have a Corvette in my garage!

Q: What do you do if your hooker is running around screaming and bleeding in your hotel room?
A: Shoot her again!

Q: What's the difference between an onion and a hooker?
A: You don't cry when you chop up a hooker!

Q: If a new whore uses vasoline, what does an old whore use?
A: An old whore uses poly-grip!

Q: Why do Republican politicians never conduct business on the same street where a prostitute is working?
A: Professional courtesy!

Q: What's the difference between Tiger Woods and a Hooker?
A: Tiger can work his balls both ways!

Q: How bad is the California economy?
A: Even the hookers are taking I.O.U's

Q: What do you get when you cross Tiger Woods and a dinosaur?
A: Lick a lot of puss.

Q: Why does Tiger play a round of golf with a prostitute?
A: To get a hairy hole in one.
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