Short Summer Jokes
Q: What did the pig say at the beach on a hot summer's day?
A: I'm bacon!
Q: What do you call six weeks of rain in Scotland?
Q: How do you prevent a Summer cold?
A: Catch it in the Winter!
Q: What do you call a french guy in sandals?
A: Phillipe Phloppe.
Q: When do you go at red and stop at green?
A: When you're eating a watermelon.
Q: How do men exercise at the beach?
A: By sucking in their stomach everytime they see a bikini.
Q: Why did the cheerleader put extra salt on her food in the summer?
A: She wanted to do summer salts.
Q: How hot is a Los Angeles summer?
A: So hot that I saw a fire hydrant chasing a pack of dogs!
Q: How do you know your city is suffering from a heatwave?
A: Every fat guy sweating in the city smells like Bacon!
Hair gets lighter, Skin gets darker, Music gets louder, Nights get longer, Life gets better. This Summer.
Summer Bar Jokes
For her summer job, my 18-year-old daughter arranged interviews at several day-care centers. At one meeting, she sat down on one of the kiddie seats, no simple task for most people. The interview went well, and at the end, the day-care center director asked the standard question, "Can you give me one good reason we should hire you?"
"Because I fit in the chairs." She got the job.
Two Year Old
My two-year-old cousin scared us one summer by disappearing during our lakeside vacation. More than a dozen relatives searched the forest and shoreline, and everyone was relieved when we found Alex playing calmly in the woods.
"Listen to me, Alex," his mother said sharply. "From now on when you want to go someplace, you tell Mommy first, okay?"
Alex thought about that for a moment and said, "Okay. Disney World."
Vacationing in Vermont, I picked up the local paper to check out the forecast.
Today: Sunny, 76.
Tonight: Not so sunny, 55.
Our first day at a resort my wife and I decided to hit the beach.
When I went back to our room to get something to drink, one of the hotel maids was making our bed.
I grabbed my cooler and was on my way out when I paused and asked, "Can we drink beer on the beach?"
"Sure," she said, "but I have to finish the rest of the rooms beforehand."
I asked my Canadian friend "Did you have a good Summer?
He replied "Yes indeed, we had a great picnic that afternoon!"
It was at a miniature golf course on a brutally hot day when I saw a father with 3 kids.
"Who's winning?" I asked cheerfully.
"I am" said one "no, I am" said another.
"No," the father said "their mother is!"