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Osama Bin Laden David Letterman Jokes


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"Did you see the Osama bin Laden dinner party tape? He's having dinner with a legless sheik. We can't even catch that guy." óDavid Letterman

"Every day we learn more and more about this wacky Osama bin Laden. He lives in a cave and at one time he was a womanizer. But now he has settled down with his five wives and 26 kids, so that's now all over. ... He also had a drinking problem at one time. I believe he went through 'Jihab'" óDavid Letterman

"They say now that Mullah Omar is living out of his car. You know things are not going well for the jihad when your Supreme Leader is living in his Toyota."  óDavid Letterman

"Over in Afghanistan, Osama stuck his head out of the cave and saw a shadow. So, that means six more weeks of bombing." óDavid Letterman

"Did you see the Osama bin Laden dinner party tape? He's having dinner with a legless sheik. We can't even catch that guy." óDavid Letterman

"Osama bin Laden has ten look-alikes to fool us Americans. Ten look-alikes, and he's married to five of them." óDavid Letterman

"Did you hear this? They say now Osama bin Laden and his buddy Mullah Omar have left Afghanistan dressed as women. They dressed up as women and went across the border into Pakistan. I think they're going to make a movie about it. They're going to call it 'Some like it Jihad.'" óDavid Letterman

"The Taliban is on the run and don't know where to go. Pakistan doesn't want them. Iran doesn't want them. Of course, they'll have no problem getting into this country." óDavid Letterman

"I was reading more about Osama bin Laden today. Turns out he started in the mailroom." óDavid Letterman

"We're learning more about Osama bin Laden. His father was married 16 times, and he has five wives. I think we're getting to the root of his intense anger. And they say bin Laden never spends the night in the same place twice. No, wait a minute, that's Clinton." óDavid Letterman

"They found a cave once lived in by Osama bin Laden and the only thing in the cave were some boxer undershorts, and macaroni. I'm telling you, you add an old stack of Playboys, this could be my place. It's like I have a twin." óDavid Letterman

"Now there are reports that Osama bin Laden would like to commit suicide on television. This is the kind of lead-in I have been praying for every since I came to CBS. Bin Laden is planning a televised suicide or, as I call it, hosting the Academy Awards." óDavid Letterman

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