"According to a Gallup poll, 17% of those
asked still have a favorable opinion of Michael Jackson. That may not sound like
much, but it's still more than any of the Democratic candidates running for
president." —Jay Leno
"Michael Jackson now using the internet to
communicate with his fans. Which makes sense, that’s how he met most of 'em."
—Jay Leno
"After turning himself in yesterday,
Michael Jackson was placed in handcuffs. I think he helped his case when he
asked 'These are neat, do they come in smaller sizes?" —Jay Leno
"Michael Jackson announced this week that
the Neverland Ranch is no longer home to him. He said he can’t go back there.
Which of course is really bad news for the kids locked in the crawlspace."
—Jay Leno
"Now he is out on bail — again he still
doesn't get it. When a reporter asked him what he is going to do now, he said,
'I'm going to Disneyland.'" —Jay Leno
"Early today Michael met with his priest
— not for spiritual advice, they went on a double date." —Jay Leno
"Michael Jackson was caught on tape saying
he was a virgin until he was the age of 32. I mean, is that really shocking? I
mean, he was a black man guy 'til he was 35." --Jay Leno
"As you know, Michael Jackson late again
to court twice this week…have you seen him? Two people helping him walk into
the building; he's constantly late; he's crying a lot; he's walking stiffly…I
think he's going through menopause." --Jay Leno
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