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   Back to: Celebrity Jokes : Kobe Bryant Jokes

Q: What do Micheal Jackson and Kobe Bryant have in Common?
A: One screws little white Virgin women, the other is a little white Virgin Woman

Q: Did you hear about Shaq getting traded to the Miami Heat?
A: Yeah, Kobe was so happy he had sex with his own wife!

Q: Why did Kobe Bryant buy a dictionary?
A: To figure out what part of "no" he doesn't understand.

Q: Why is Kobe Bryant so confident that he'll rebound well after this scandal?
A: Because he'll be the tallest player on the prison team.

Q: Why is Kobe Bryant stacking money in his backyard?
A: To practice jumping bail.

Q: Why has Kobe Bryant started smoking a little pot?
A: To help him prepare for the Big Joint.

Q: Why does Kobe wear goggles during sex?
A: To keep the mace out of his eyes.

Q: What's the next event Kobe Bryant will be attending?
A: The Teen not by Choice Awards.

Q: Why did Kobe attend the Teen Choice Awards?
A: He was fascinated by the "choice" aspect of it.

Kobe Bryant still hasnít made his decision about what team he will be on next season.
He said heíll either be a Laker for life or a Laker doing life.

Q: What do Gigli and Kobe Bryant have in common?
A: Both leave people in tears feeling screwed.

Q: Who's the head lawyer on Kobe's legal team?
A: The one with dirt on his knees.

Q: Why will Kobe Bryant be so POPULAR in prison?
A: He's great at penetrating to the hole.

Q: Why will Kobe Bryant be so UNPOPULAR in prison?
A: He's an all-star. He doesn't suck.

Q: Why is Kobe Bryant so worried about jury prejudice during his trial?
A: Cuz no one likes a rapist.

Q: How is Kobe Bryant spending his free time this summer?
A: By adding a second bedroom to the dog house.

Q: Why did Kobe add the letter "O" to his bracelet?
A: So it would stand for: "What Would O.J. Do?".

Q: Why did Kobe buy his wife such a huge diamond?
A: Because the weight of it slows down her punches.

Q: What did Shaq say when he heard of Kobe's marital infidelity?
A: Kobe making a pass? She must be lying.

Q: What did President Bush say when he heard that Sprite might drop Kobe?
A: "Who cares, I'm a coke man myself."

Q: Why would Kobe Bryant make a good governor?
A: He's getting his scandal out of the way early.

Q: Why does Kobe have for Thanksgiving?
A: Same as always, a little white meat on the side.

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