"Have you seen President Bush has already started running his campaign
ads, the theme of which, apparently is, 'This Shit Ain't My Fault.' No, I'm
serious, his ads talk about the attacks of 9/11, the recession, the dot-com
bubble bursting, and then they end with his slogan, 'Vote For Me, Mr.
Lucky.'" —Bill Maher
"The White House predicted 150,000 new jobs for the month that just
passed. The statistics came back: 21,000. But, you know, the White House, always
up for solutions through labeling. From now on, Americans who've lost their jobs
will no longer be known as 'unemployed,' they are enjoying 'Operation Week-Day
Freedom.'" —Bill Maher
"Attorney General John Ashcroft is in intensive care. He's suffering from a
severe case of pancreatitis, which they can't really figure out because he's not
really a drinker. They think he might have picked up some type of infection
while wiping his ass with the Bill of Rights." —Bill Maher
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