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Jay Leno Jokes -
Arnold Schwarzenegger Jokes


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"Arnold Schwarzenegger will probably be the keynote speaker at the Republican National Convention, which is very smart, because after Schwarzenegger speaks, Bush's English won't sound so bad." óJay Leno

"Arnold Schwarzenegger announced he is going to ask President Bush for help with the budget. What better way to deal with a $38 billion deficit than get advice from a guy that created a $450 billion deficit." óJay Leno

"As you know Arnold is investigating himself. He will subpoena both of his hands, and if he finds any evidence of wrongdoing he is going to sue himself." óJay Leno

"In Washington, Arnold Schwarzenegger met with Vice President Dick Cheney. So, the Terminator met the Defibrillator. The difference between Schwarzenegger and Cheney is that when Cheney grabs a chest, it's his own." óJay Leno

"Immediately after Arnold was sworn in, Gloria Alred jumped in: "While you have your hand on the Bible, Iíd like to ask you a few questions." óJay Leno

"More problems for Governor-elect Arnold Schwarzenegger. California Attorney General Bill Locklear has suggested a special toll free number be set up for women to call in allegations about Arnold's past. I have a better idea ó why not make it a 900 number and charge $1.99 a minute. We'll pay off that $33 billion dollars right there." óJay Leno

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