Tennessee Titans Jokes

Q: How many Tennessee Titans does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A: Nobody knows and we may never find out!

Q: How do the Titans count to 10?
A: 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10.

Q: Did you hear about the joke that Marcus Mariota told his receivers?
A: It went over their heads.

Q: Why can't Marcus Mariota use the phone anymore?
A: Because he can't find the receiver.

Q: What do you call an Tennessee Titan with a Super Bowl ring?
A: A thief.

Q: How many Titans fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None they are happy living in the Texans shadow!

Q: What's the difference between the Tennessee Titans and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: What do the Tennessee Titans and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: What's the best part about dating a Titans fan?
A: She won't be asking for a ring!

Q: What is the difference between a Titans fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: What did the Titans fan say after his team won the Super Bowl?
A: "Dammit mom, why'd you wake me up? I was having an amazing dream!"

Q: How do you know the Tennessee State Police are seriously enforcing the Speed Limits into Nashville.
A: For the first offense, they give you two Titans tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.

Q. How are the Titans like my neighbors?
A. They can't pick up a single yard!

Q: Want to hear a Titans joke?
A: Rishard Matthews!

Q: Why is Rishard Matthews like a grizzly bear?
A: Every fall he goes into hibernation.

Q: How many Tennessee Titans does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

Q: What do the Tennessee Titans and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common?
A: Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.

Q: What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The Tennessee Titans.

Q: What do the Tennessee Titans and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q: How do you keep an Tennessee Titans out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.

Q: Why are so many Tennessee Titans players claiming they have the Swine Flu?
A: So They don't have to touch the pigskin!

Q: What is a Tennessee Titans fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Indianapolis."

Q: How do you stop an Tennessee Titans fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Indianapolis Blue and White!

Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an Tennessee Titans fan?
A: The bucket.

Q: If you have a car containing a Titans wide receiver, a Titans linebacker, and a Titans defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

Q: How do you casterate an Tennessee Titans fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: What do the Titans and the Post Office have in common?
A: Neither deliver on Sundays!

Q: Why do NFL teams get excited about playing the Titans?
A: It's like having an extra bye week.

Q: What should you do if you find three Tennessee Titans football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

Q: What's the difference between an Tennessee Titans fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q. How did the Tennessee Titans fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!

Q: What does an Tennessee Titans fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

Q: What do the Titans and the mailman have in common?
A: Neither deliver on Sunday.

Q: What do you call an Tennessee Titan in the Super Bowl?
A: A referee.

Q: Did you hear that Tennessee's football team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

Q: How many Tennessee Titans fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!

Q: What does a Tennessee Titans fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What's the best way to teach your dog to roll over and play dead?
A: Have him watch a couple Tennessee Titans games.

Q: Why do Tennessee Titans fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: How do the Titans spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

Q: How do you keep a Titans fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick Indianapolis blue and white and he won't beat it for years!

Q: Why do the Tennessee Titans want to change their name to the Tennessee Tampons?
A: Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!

Q: What's the difference between the Tennessee Titans & the Taliban?
A: The Taliban has a running game!

Q: Where do you go in Nashville in case of a tornado?
A: LP Field - they never get a touchdown there!

Q: Did you hear about the blonde burglar?
A: He broke into the Tennessee Titans' trophy room.

Q. Why do ducks fly over LP Field upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!

Q: Why doesn't Memphis have a professional football team?
A: Because then Nashville would want one.

Q: Why are Tennessee Titans jokes getting dumber and dumber??
A: Because Titans fans have started to make them up themselves.

Q: What's the difference between Tennessee Titans fans and mosquitoes?
A: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.

Q: What's the difference between the Tennessee Titans and a pinball machine?
A: The pinball machine scores more points.

Did you hear that LP Field had to be resodded?
Thats really sad when you cant even get your own grass to root for you!

Can a Tennessee Titans player drive a stick?
Only if they remove the clutch.

Son: What's a touchdown?
Dad: I'm not sure son, we're Tennessee Titans fans.

My wife was about to put my son in a Tennessee Titans jersey, but I reminded her it was a choking hazard.

A Titans fan doesn't always eat pastries, but when he does it's usually a turnover.

According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent are Tennessee Titans fans.

I put a Titans logo on an airplane and now it can't touchdown.

Are you scared of catching the flu? Just hang in the Titans end zone, they don't catch anything there.

I took my broken vacuum cleaner back to the store.
They put a Titans jersey on it and now it sucks again.

Why did the Tennessee Titans fan cross the road.....I was thinking when I accelerated.

Child Welfare

A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Fulton County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.
When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. \
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the Child Welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Tennessee Titans, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

Colts Fan
On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Titans fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Titans fans.
Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise, 'Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?'
Because I'm not a Titans fan,' she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Titans fan, then who are you a fan of?'
'I am a Colts fan, and proud of it,' Janie replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Janie please tell us why you are a Colts fan?'
"Because my mom is a Colts fan, and my dad is Colts fan, so I'm a Colts fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Colts fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was an idiot and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?'
"Then," Janie smiled, 'I'd be a Titans fan.'

4 Football Fans
A Redskins fan, an Eagles fan, a Titans fan, and a Colts fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more.
The Redskins fan insists he is the most loyal. 'This is for the Redskins! ' he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain.
Not to be outdone, the Eagles fan shouts, 'This is for the Eagles!' and throws himself off the mountain.
The Colts fan is next to profess his love for his team.
He yells, 'This is for everyone!' and pushes the Titans fan off the mountain.

Joke Generators: