Los Angeles Rams Jokes

Q: Why does President Obama want to send Rams QB Marc Bulger to Venezuela?
A: The CIA are convinced Marc is the only American who can overthrow Hugo Chavez.

Q: Why can't Jared Goff use the phone anymore?
A: Because he can't find the receiver.

Q: Did you hear about the joke that Nick Foles told his receivers?
A: It went over their heads.

Q: How many St Louis Rams does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A: Only one, Kurt Warner, and he's retired.

Q: What's the difference between the Los Angeles Rams and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: How many Rams fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None they are happy living in San Francisco's shadow!

Q: What was Sam Bradfords's latest injury in a St Louis Rams uniform?
A: A torn labia!

Q: What do the Los Angeles Rams and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: What do the St Louis Rams and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common?
A: Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.

Q: What is the difference between a Rams fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: What did the Rams fan say after his team won the Super Bowl?
A: "Dammit mom, why'd you wake me up? I was having an amazing dream!"

Q: How do you know the Missouri State Police are seriously enforcing the Speed Limits into St Louis.
A: For the first offense, they give you two St Louis Rams tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.

Q. How are the Rams like my neighbors?
A. They can't pick up a single yard!

Q: Want to hear a Rams joke?
A: Jared Goff!

Q: Why is Jared Goff like a grizzly bear?
A: Every fall he goes into hibernation.

Q: What's the difference between the Rams and cigarettes?
A: Russell Wilson doesn't smoke cigarettes

Q: How many Los Angeles Rams players does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

Q: What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The Los Angeles Rams.

Q: What do the Los Angeles Rams and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q: How do you keep the Los Angeles Rams out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.

Q: Why are so many St Louis Rams players claiming they have the Swine Flu?
A: So They don't have to touch the pigskin!

Q: What do the Rams and the Post Office have in common?
A: Neither deliver on Sundays!

Q: What is a St Louis Rams fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Arizona."

Q: Why do NFL teams get excited about playing the Rams?
A: It's like having an extra bye week.

Q: How do you stop an St Louis Rams fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in New Orleans Black and Gold!

Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and a Los Angeles Rams fan?
A: The bucket.

Q: If you have a car containing a Rams wide receiver, a Rams linebacker, and a Rams defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

Q: How do you casterate an St Louis Rams fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: What should you do if you find three Los Angeles Rams football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

Q: What's the difference between an Los Angeles Rams fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q. How did the St Louis Rams fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!

Q: What do you call a St Louis Ram in the Super Bowl?
A: A referee.

Q: Did you hear that St Louis's football team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

Q: What do the St Louis Rams and the mailman have in common?
A: Neither deliver on Sunday.

Q: How many Los Angeles Rams fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!

Q: What does a St Louis Rams fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: What's the best way to teach your dog to roll over and play dead?
A: Have him watch a couple St Louis Rams games.

Q: Why do Los Angeles Rams fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: How do the St Louis Rams spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

Q: How do you keep a Rams fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick New Orleans gold and he won't beat it for years!

Q: Why do the Los Angeles Rams want to change their name to the Los Angeles Tampons?
A: Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!

Q: What's the difference between the St Louis Rams & the Taliban?
A: The Taliban has a running game!

Q: Where do you go in St Louis in case of a tornado?
A: Edward Jones Dome - they never get a touchdown there!

Q. Why do ducks fly over L.A. Memorial Coliseum upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!

Q: Why doesn't Springfield have a professional football team?
A: Because then St Louis would want one.

Q: Why are St Louis Rams jokes getting dumber and dumber??
A: Because Rams fans have started to make them up themselves.

Q: What's the difference between Los Angeles Rams fans and mosquitoes?
A: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.

Q: What's the difference between the Los Angeles Rams and a pinball machine?
A: The pinball machine scores more points.

Did you hear that L.A. Memorial Coliseum had to be resodded?
Thats really sad when you cant even get your own grass to root for you!

According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent are Los Angeles Rams fans.

Can a St Louis Rams player drive a stick?
Only if they remove the clutch.

My wife was about to put my son in a Los Angeles Rams jersey, but I reminded her it was a choking hazard.

I put a Rams logo on an airplane and now it can't touchdown.

I took my broken vacuum cleaner back to the store.
They put a Rams jersey on it and now it sucks again.

Son: What's a touchdown?
Dad: I'm not sure son, we're Los Angeles Rams fans.

A St Louis Rams fan doesn't always eat pastries, but when he does it's usually a turnover.

The only thing worse than a Los Angeles Rams fan is a Los Angeles Rams quarterback.

98 percent of adults no longer believe in Santa, the other 2 percent are St Louis Rams fans.

Are you scared of catching the flu? Just hang in the Rams end zone, they don't catch anything there.

Why did the St Louis Rams fan cross the road.....I was thinking when I accelerated.

Child Welfare

A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Fulton County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.
When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him.
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the Child Welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Los Angeles Rams, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

49ers Fan
On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Rams fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Rams fans.
Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise, 'Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?'
Because I'm not a Rams fan,' she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Rams fan, then who are you a fan of?'
'I am a 49ers fan, and proud of it,' Janie replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Janie please tell us why you are a 49ers fan?'
"Because my mom is a 49ers fan, and my dad is 49ers fan, so I'm a 49ers fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a 49ers fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was an idiot and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?'
"Then," Janie smiled, 'I'd be a Rams fan.'

4 Football Fans
A Redskins fan, an Eagles fan, a Rams fan, and a Cardinals fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more.
The Redskins fan insists he is the most loyal. 'This is for the Redskins! ' he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain.
Not to be outdone, the Eagles fan shouts, 'This is for the Eagles!' and throws himself off the mountain.
The Cardinals fan is next to profess his love for his team.
He yells, 'This is for everyone!' and pushes the Rams fan off the mountain.

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