San Diego Chargers Jokes

Q: How many San Diego Chargers does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A: Nobody knows and we may never find out!

Q: Did you hear about the joke that Phillip Rivers told his receivers?
A: It went over their heads.

Q: Why can't Phillip Rivers use the phone anymore?
A: Because he can't find the receiver.

Q: What do the Los Angeles Police Department and the Chargers have in common?
A: Neither one can stop a Bronco.

Q: What happened after Nate Kaeding missed the game winning field goal again?
A: He attempted to commit suicide, but failed to kick out the chair from under him!

Q: What do you call a Los Angeles Chargers with a Super Bowl ring?
A: A thief.

Q: What's the difference between the Los Angeles Chargers and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: How many Chargers fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None they are happy living in the Broncos shadow!

Q: What's the best part about dating a Chargers fan?
A: She won't be asking for a ring!

Q: What do the Los Angeles Chargers and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: What is the difference between a Chargers fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: What do the Los Angeles Chargers and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common?
A: Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.

Q: How many Los Angeles Chargers does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

Q: What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The Los Angeles Chargers.

Q: What's the difference between the Chargers and cigarettes?
A: Peyton Manning doesn't smoke cigarettes

Q: What did the Chargers fan say after his team won the Super Bowl?
A: "Dammit mom, why'd you wake me up? I was having an amazing dream!"

Q. How are the Chargers like my neighbors?
A. They can't pick up a single yard!

Q: Want to hear a Chargers joke?
A: Phillip Rivers!

Q: Why is Phillip Rivers like a grizzly bear?
A: Every fall he goes into hibernation.

Q: What do the Chargers and the Post Office have in common?
A: Neither deliver on Sundays!

Q: What do the Los Angeles Chargers and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q: How do you keep a Los Angeles Charger out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.

Q: Why are so many San Diego Chargers players claiming they have the Swine Flu?
A: So They don't have to touch the pigskin!

Q: What is a Los Angeles Chargers fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Denver."

Q: What do the Chargers and the mailman have in common?
A: Neither deliver on Sunday.

Q: How do you stop an San Diego Chargers fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Denver Red!

Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an Los Angeles Chargers fan?
A: The bucket.

Q: If you have a car containing a Chargers wide receiver, a Chargers linebacker, and a Chargers defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

Q: How do you casterate an San Diego Chargers fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: What should you do if you find three San Diego Chargers football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

Q: What's the difference between an Los Angeles Chargers fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q. How did the Los Angeles Chargers fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!

Q: What does an Los Angeles Chargers fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

Q: What do you call a Los Angeles Charger in the Super Bowl?
A: A referee.

Q: Did you hear that San Diego's football team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

Q: How many Los Angeles Chargers fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!

Q: How do you know the California State Police are seriously enforcing the Speed Limits into San Diego.
A: For the first offense, they give you two Chargers tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.

Q: What does a Los Angeles Chargers fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why do Los Angeles Chargers fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: How do the Chargers spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

Q: What's the best way to teach your dog to roll over and play dead?
A: Have him watch a couple San Diego Chargers games.

Q: How do you keep a Chargers fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick New Orleans gold and he won't beat it for years!

Q: Why do the Los Angeles Chargers want to change their name to the San Diego Tampons?
A: Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!

Q: What's the difference between the San Diego Chargers & the Taliban?
A: The Taliban has a running game!

Q: Where do you go in San Diego in case of a tornado?
A: Qualcomm Stadium - they never get a touchdown there!

Q. Why do ducks fly over Qualcomm stadium upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!

Q: Why doesn't Long Beach have a professional football team?
A: Because then Los Angeles would want one.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde burglar?
A: He broke into the Los Angeles Chargers trophy room.

Q: Why are Los Angeles Chargers jokes getting dumber and dumber??
A: Because Chargers fans have started to make them up themselves.

Q: What's the difference between San Diego Chargers fans and mosquitoes?
A: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.

Q: What's the difference between the Los Angeles Chargers and a pinball machine?
A: The pinball machine scores more points.

Did you hear that Qualcomm Stadium had to be resodded?
Thats really sad when you cant even get your own grass to root for you!

Q: Why do NFL teams get excited about playing the Chargers?
A: It's like having an extra bye week.

According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent are San Diego Chargers fans.

Can a Los Angeles Chargers player drive a stick?
Only if they remove the clutch.

My wife was about to put my son in a Los Angeles Chargers jersey, but I reminded her it was a choking hazard.

I took my broken vacuum cleaner back to the store.
They put a Chargers jersey on it and now it sucks again.

Son: What's a touchdown?
Dad: I'm not sure son, we're San Diego Chargers fans.

Are you scared of catching the flu? Just hang in the Chargers end zone, they don't catch anything there.

I put a Chargers logo on an airplane and now it can't touchdown.

The only thing worse than a Chargers fan is a Chargers quarterback.

Why did the Los Angeles Chargers fan cross the road.....I was thinking when I accelerated.

A Chargers fan doesn't always eat pastries, but when he does it's usually a turnover.

Dog's Excitement
A Charger fan walks into a bar. There is Broncos memorabilia all over the bar. The bartender is decked out in Broncos gear. The bartender is watching the Broncos/Chargers game on tv, along with a dog wearing a Broncos sweater.

The Charger fan orders a beer, and starts watching the game. The score is 27-0 in the first quarter in favor of the Chargers. Orton drives the Broncos down to the 3 yard line, but again, can't punch it into the end zone. They kick a field goal, making the score 27-3.

The bartender and the dog both go crazy. The dog is jumping all over the bar, barking, tail wagging. The Chargers fan is pretty amazed at the dogs reaction.

The Charger fan says, "That's some dog you got there, buddy. What does he do when Denver scores a touchdown?"

The bartender says "How would I know? I've only had him for 3 years."

Chargers Fan
On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Chargers fan.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Chargers fans.
Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.
The teacher looks at the girl with surprise, 'Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?'
Because I'm not a Chargers fan,' she replied.
The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Chargers fan, then who are you a fan of?'
'I am a Broncos fan, and proud of it,' Janie replied.
The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Janie please tell us why you are a Broncos fan?'
"Because my mom is a Broncos fan, and my dad is Broncos fan, so I'm a Broncos fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Broncos fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was an idiot and your dad was a moron, what would you be then?'
"Then," Janie smiled, 'I'd be a Chargers fan.'

4 Football Fans
A Redskins fan, an Eagles fan, a Chargers fan, and a Broncos fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more.
The Redskins fan insists he is the most loyal. 'This is for the Redskins! ' he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain.
Not to be outdone, the Eagles fan shouts, 'This is for the Eagles!' and throws himself off the mountain.
The Broncos fan is next to profess his love for his team.
He yells, 'This is for everyone!' and pushes the Chargers fan off the mountain.

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