Cleveland Browns Jokes

Q: What did i do on the toilet?
A: I took the Browns to the Super Bowl.

Q: Why does Jim Brown want Lebron James to remain in Cleveland?
A: Because misery loves company!

Q: Why shouldn't prosecutors release Browns WR Donte Stallworth from jail?
A: Because if he's going back to Cleveland he won't notice a difference!

Q: How many Cleveland Browns does it take to win a Super Bowl?
A: Nobody knows and we may never find out!

Q: Did you hear about the joke that Josh McCown told his receivers?
A: It went over their heads.

Q: What does a browns fan say to a robber?
A: I hate the steelers.

Q: Why can't Josh McCown use the phone anymore?
A: Because he can't find the receiver.

Q: What do the Cleveland Browns and a Chick-Fil-A manager have in common?
A: Neither one shows up for work on Sunday.

Q: What's the difference between the Browns and cigarettes?
A: Mike Tomlin doesn't smoke cigarettes

Q: Why did the Browns get a new quarterback?
A: They wanted to "Make RG3 Great Again".

Q: What do Alex Trebek and the Cleveland Browns head coach have in common?
A: Both of their jobs are in Jeopardy.

Q: Why does President Obama want to send Browns QB Brandon Weeden to Syria?
A: The CIA are convinced Brandon is the only American who can overthrow Bashir Assad.

Q: Why shouldn't Cleveland fans be worried about the Brown's recent layoffs?
A: They were all defensive players so no one will ever notice!

Q: How many Browns fans does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None they are happy living in Baltimore's shadow!

Q: What do you call a Cleveland Brown with a Super Bowl ring?
A: A thief.

Q: What's the difference between the Cleveland Browns and a dollar bill?
A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Q: What do the Cleveland Browns and possums have in common?
A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road!

Q: How do you know the Ohio State Police are seriously enforcing the Speed Limits into Cleveland.
A: For the first offense, they give you two Browns tickets. If you get stopped a second time, they make you use them.

Q: What did the Browns fan say after his team won the Super Bowl?
A: "Dammit mom, why'd you wake me up? I was having an amazing dream!"

Q. How are the Cleveland Browns like my neighbors?
A. They can't pick up a single yard!

Q: Want to hear a Browns joke?
A: Johnny Manziel!

Q: Why is Josh McCown like a grizzly bear?
A: Every fall he goes into hibernation.

Q: What's the best part about dating a Browns fan?
A: She won't be asking for a ring!

Q: What is the difference between a Browns fan and a baby?
A: The baby will stop whining after awhile.

Q: How many Cleveland Browns does it take to change a tire?
A: One, unless it's a blowout, in which case they all show up

Q: What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl?
A: The Cleveland Browns.

Q: What do the Browns and the Post Office have in common?
A: Neither deliver on Sundays!

Q: What do the Cleveland Browns and Billy Graham have in common?
A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ".

Q: How do you keep an Cleveland Browns out of your yard?
A: Put up goal posts.

Q: Why are so many Cleveland Browns players claiming they have the Swine Flu?
A: So They don't have to touch the pigskin!

Q: What is a Cleveland Browns fan's favorite whine?
A: "We can't beat Pittsburgh."

Q: What do the Cleveland Browns and the mailman have in common?
A: Neither deliver on Sunday.

Q: How do you stop an Cleveland Browns fan from beating his wife?
A: Dress her in Pittsburgh Black and Gold!

Q: What is th difference between a bucket of shit and an Cleveland Browns fan?
A: The bucket.

Q: If you have a car containing a Browns wide receiver, a Browns linebacker, and a Browns defensive back, who is driving the car?
A: The cop.

Q: How do you casterate a Cleveland Browns fan?
A: Kick his sister in the mouth

Q: What should you do if you find three Cleveland Browns football fans buried up to their neck in cement?
A: Get more cement.

Q: What's the difference between an Cleveland Browns fan and a carp?
A: One is a bottom-feeding, scum sucker, and the other is a fish.

Q: Did you hear about the blonde burglar?
A: He broke into the Cleveland Browns' trophy room.

Q. How did the Cleveland Browns fan die from drinking milk?
A. The cow fell on him!

Q: What's the best way to teach your dog to roll over and play dead?
A: Have him watch a couple Cleveland Browns games.

Q: What does an Cleveland Browns fan do when his team has won the Super Bowl?
A: He turns off the PlayStation 3.

Q: What do you call a Cleveland Brown in the Super Bowl?
A: A referee.

Q: Did you hear that Cleveland's football team doesn't have a website?
A: They can't string three "Ws" together.

Q: How many Cleveland Browns fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: None. Lava lamps don't burn out man!

Q: What does a Cleveland Browns fan and a bottle of beer have in common?
A: They're both empty from the neck up.

Q: Why do Cleveland Browns fans keep their season tickets on their dashboards?
A: So they can park in handicap spaces.

Q: How do the Browns spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

Q: How do you keep a Browns fan from masterbating?
A: You paint his dick New Orleans gold and he won't beat it for years!

Q: Why do the Cleveland Browns want to change their name to the Cleveland Tampons?
A: Because they are only good for one period and do not have a second string!

Q: What's the difference between the Cleveland Browns & the Taliban?
A: The Taliban has a running game!

Q: Where do you go in Cleveland in case of a tornado?
A: Cleveland Browns Stadium - they never get a touchdown there!

Q: Why do NFL teams get excited about playing the Cleveland Browns?
A: It's like having an extra bye week.

Q. Why do ducks fly over Cleveland Browns stadium upside down?
A. There's nothing worth craping on!

Q: Why doesn't Columbus have a professional football team?
A: Because then Cleveland would want one.

Q: Why are Cleveland Browns jokes getting dumber and dumber??
A: Because Browns fans have started to make them up themselves.

Q: What's the difference between Cleveland Browns fans and mosquitoes?
A: Mosquitoes are only annoying in the summer.

Q: What's the difference between the Cleveland Browns and a pinball machine?
A: The pinball machine scores more points.

Did you hear that FirstEnergy Stadium had to be resodded?
Thats really sad when you cant even get your own grass to root for you!

Can a Cleveland Browns player drive a stick?
Only if they remove the clutch.

My wife was about to put my son in a Cleveland Browns jersey, but I reminded her it was a choking hazard.

I put a Browns logo on an airplane and now it can't touchdown.

The only thing worse than a Cleveland Browns fan is a Browns quarterback.

According to a new poll 91 percent of people are satisfied with their lives.
The other 9 percent are Cleveland Browns fans.

Son: What's a touchdown?
Dad: I'm not sure son, we're Cleveland Browns fans.

I took my broken vacuum cleaner back to the store.
They put a Browns jersey on it and now it sucks again.

Are you scared of catching the flu? Just hang in the Browns end zone, they don't catch anything there.

98 percent of adults no longer believe in Santa, the other 2 percent are Cleveland Brown fans.

Why did the Cleveland Browns fan cross the road.....I was thinking when I accelerated.

A Cleveland Browns fan doesn't always eat pastries, but when he does it's usually a turnover.

Child Welfare

A seven-year old boy was at the center of a Fulton County courtroom drama yesterday when he challenged a court ruling over who should have custody of him. The boy has a history of being beaten by his parents and the judge initially awarded custody to his aunt, in keeping with child custody law and regulation requiring that family unity be maintained to the highest degree possible.
The boy surprised the court when he proclaimed that his aunt beat him more than his parents and he adamantly refused to live with her.
When the judge then suggested that he live with his grandparents, the boy cried and said that they also beat him.
After considering the remainder of the immediate family and learning that domestic violence was apparently a way of life among them, the judge took the unprecedented step of allowing the boy to propose who should have custody of him. \
After two recesses to check legal references and confer with the Child Welfare officials, the judge granted temporary custody to the Cleveland Browns, whom the boy firmly believes are not capable of beating anyone.

Steelers Fan

On the first day of school a first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a Browns fan.

She asks her students to raise their hands if they, too, are Browns fans.

Wanting to impress their teacher, everyone in the class raises their hand except one little girl.

The teacher looks at the girl with surprise, 'Janie, why didn't you raise your hand?'

Because I'm not a Browns fan,' she replied.

The teacher, still shocked, asked, 'Well, if you are not a Browns fan, then who are you a fan of?'

'I am a Steelers fan, and proud of it,' Janie replied.

The teacher could not believe her ears. 'Janie please tell us why you are a Steelers fan?'

Because my mom is a Steelers fan, and my dad is Steelers fan, so I'm a Steelers fan too!''

Well,' said the teacher in a obviously annoyed tone, 'that is no reason for you to be a Steelers fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your mom was an idiot and your dad was a moron, wha t would you be then?'

Then,' Janie smiled, 'I'd be a Browns fan.'

4 Football Fans
A Redskins fan, an Eagles fan, a Steelers fan, and a Browns fan are climbing a mountain and arguing about who loves his team more.
The Redskins fan insists he is the most loyal. 'This is for the Redskins! ' he yells, and jumps off the side of the mountain.
Not to be outdone, the Eagles fan shouts, 'This is for the Eagles!' and throws himself off the mountain.
The Steelers fan is next to profess his love for his team.
He yells, 'This is for everyone!' and pushes the Browns fan off the mountain.

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