The schoolteacher was taking her first golfing lesson.
"Is the word spelt p-u-t or p-u-t-t?'' she asked the instructor.
"P-u-t-t is correct,'' he replied.
"Put means to place a thing where you want it. Putt means merely a vain attempt to do the same thing."
A blonde was receiving golf lessons, but she was performing poorly and kept sending the ball to the trees or she pounded the golf club into the grass.
The instructor was getting desperate and finally said,
"I think the problem is with your grip on the club, you should grab it more gently. Look, imagine that the golf club is a man's cock ...
The blonde thought about this for a moment, picked up the club and hit the golf ball. It flew beautifully to the green and rolled down to the hole.
The instructor was petrified and exclaimed: "What a spectacular shot! Now, next time, try grabbing the club with your hands and not with your mouth ..."