God Help Me Joke
Man is walking next to a cliff when suddenly the earth gives away he he falls over the edge, yet manages to grab ahold of a plant growing out of the side of the cliff.
Hanging hundreds of feet off the ground, he yells, "God, please help me" many times until there is a thunderous voice overhead that says, " do you believe in me?",
"yes, yes", the man replies.
"do you trust me?", the voice asks.
"yes, yes, just please help, i cant hang here much longer".
"Then let go" the voice commands...
The man looks up and says, "is there anyone else up there I can talk to?"
Flood
A flood covered the street and a man was sitting on a roof.
The water was up to his knees. He prayed to GOD to save him. Minutes later, a boat with two people came by.
They said to hop in but he said GOD would save him. The water was up to his waist.
A boat came with one person in it. He said there was room, but the man said that GOD would save him.
The Water was up to his neck. Then a boat came with no people and he thought that GOD would save him.
He died an hour later and went up to HEAVEN. He asked GOD, '' Why didn`t you save me?'' And GOD answered, ''
What are you talking about? I sent you three boats!''