Supermarket Jokes

Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit.

Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volumes to "10"; then start polka dancing.

Put M&M's on layaway.

Hold indoor shopping cart races.

Dart around suspiciously while humming the theme from Mission: Impossible."

Say things like, "Would you be so kind as to direct me to your Twinkies, Tea Bags, Large Melons, etc?"

Set up a "Valet Parking" sign in front of the store.

"Re-alphabetize" the CD's in Electronics.

When someone steps away from their cart to look at something, quickly make off with it without saying a word.

During announcements over the PA, assume the fetal position and scream, "No, no! It's those voices again!"

Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in peoples carts when they aren't looking.

Hold indoor shopping cart races.

Two words: "Marco Polo."

Joke Generators: