Cherry Jokes
Which show lets fruits fight each other?
Cherry Springer.
What Saturday morning cartoon do fruits watch?
Tom and Cherry.
Patient: Doctor, there is a cherry growing out of my head.
Doctor: Oh, that's easy. Just put some cream on it and have a jubilee!
Why did the cherry go to the chocolate factory?
It was cordially invited.
What do you call a fruit that owns a football team?
Cherry Jones.
Which basketball players eat fruits?
The ones who like to cherry pick.
Did you hear the joke about the cherry?
It was pit-iful.
What do you call cherries playing the guitar?
A jam session.
What did one cherry say to the other cherry?
If you weren't so sweet, we wouldn't be in this jam!
Did you hear about the fruit that gave people a warm fuzzy feeling all over?
She was the cherry on top.
How do you strike fear into a pie?
With a very cherry movie.
Why were the little cherries upset?
Because their parents were in a jam!
How many grams of protein are in a cherry pi?
3.14159265
What do you call a fruit that likes to tell jokes?
Cherry Seinfeld.
Did you hear about the cherry that liked to explode?
It was da bomb.
What do you call a man that can't stop eating cherries whole?
A bottomless pit.
What does a cherry say at the end of the year?
Cherry Christmas.
What did the cherry say to the cherry pie?
"You've got some crust."
What happens when a cherry tree grows up?
It blossoms.
What do you say when someone offers you some pie?
Thank you cherry much.
What did Jani Lane tell Tommy Lee?
She's my cherry pie....
What do you get when you cross a talk show host and a fruit?
Cherry Shepherd.
Cherry pie fixes everything.
No Cherries
A stockboy is stacking fruit on a display, when a lady asks "Do you have any cherries? "
The stockboy replies "Sorry ma'am, we are out of cherries, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning"
The lady looks around some more. A few mins later she runs back to him asking where the cherries are.
The stockboy confused about her mental state simply tells her "Sorry ma'am, we are out of cherries, but we will be getting a shipment tomorrow morning"
The lady looks around some more then goes back to the same stockboy and asks "Where the hell do you keep the cherries, I need some cherries right now!"
The stockboy, getting frustated with his inability to explain the situation, tells the lady "Answers a couple of questions and I will get you your cherries from the back."
The lady agrees and the man starts the questions.
"Spell cat for me, as in catastrophe " she says Ok, "C A T". "Very good!" the stockboy says, "now spell dog, as in dogmatic. "
The lady getting frustrated spells it correct. Now the employee finally asks "now spell, Fuc, as in cherries. "
She replies "There is no Fuc in cherries?"
To which the stockboy replies "THAT'S WHAT I'VE BEEN TRYING TO TELL YOU THE WHOLE TIME!"
Three Girls
Three girls named Marie, Alexis and Taylor were driving through the country, when all of a sudden their car stalls. Marie remembers seeing a farm a little ways back, so her and Alexis walk to the farm, leaving Taylor guarding the car.
When Marie and Alexis get to the farm, they tell the farmer what happened. The farmer raises a gun to their head and tells them to get a fruit, vegetable, whatever, just get something from the garden. Marie grabs a turnip, and Alexis grabs a single cherry. Just as they come back into the farmer's house, Taylor walks in. He tells Taylor to do the same as they just did, and Taylor heads off towards the garden.
While she's out in the garden, the farmer tells Marie and Alexis to shove whatever they have up their ass, and who ever laughs, dies. Marie laughs first, so the farmer shoots her. Then Alexis laughs and she gets killed too.
So they are floating out of their bodies, and Alexis asks Marie why she died. Marie said that the thought of sticking a turnip up your ass was just too funny. Marie then asked Alexis why she laughed, Alexis said: "I saw Taylor coming around the corner with a pineapple!