New Mansion Highlights Joke

15 Sign over king-sized bed declares, "Use of the Words 'micro' and 'soft' strictly prohibited while in bedroom."

14 No paintings, but live artists actually hanging on the wall.

13 Drawbridge is raised and lowered by hand.

12 Entire state of Rhode Island relocated to east wing.

11 Raises guinea pigs in his bedroom for extra cash.

10 No toilet paper, but handy stack of $100 bills.

9 Secret passage in library leads to Nerdcave where Bill keeps the Nerdmobile.

8 Zima on tap.

7 Kato Kaelin sleeping in a corner of the trampoline room.

6 Tasteful and elegant 30,000 sq.ft. Hall of People Whose Businesses I Have Personally and Single-Handedly Crushed.

5 Basement shrine to Kelly Bundy.

4 Hidden away in the attic: his beloved childhood calculator, Rosebud.

3 Everywhere you look -- Women!

2 With 27 bathrooms, there's never a need to ask, "Where do you want to go today?"

1 Replica of the Eiffel Tower in the garden -- wait a minute... that's no replica!!

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