Yoga Jokes


Do you wanna join me for a yoga class?
Namaste here. (No I must stay here).

What do you get when you combine Starbucks and a yoga class?
I don't know, but there's probably a hipster close by.

Why didn't the yogi vacuum in the corner?
Because he has no attachments.

What does a dyslexic cow say?
Ommmmmmmmmm.

What did the yogi put on the sign outside his studio?
Inquire Within.

What was the woman angry after her yoga class?
She was bent out of shape.

What did the yogi say to the hot dog vendor?
Make me one with everything.

What kind of yoga do you do in a casket?
Decom-pose.

What's the most romantic kind of yoga position a man can do?
Pro-pose.

Did you see the romantic comedy with Meg Ryan as a yogini?
It's called "Yoga mail".

What did the yogi tell the vacuum salesman?
Too many attachments.

What kind of animal does yoga?
A Shangri-llama.

What do you call women doing yoga in see through Lululemon pants?
Over-ex-posers.

Where do fish go to do yoga?
The river bend

What did the cobra say to the downward facing dog?
I'm not a poser you are.

What did the yogi say to his dog?
Nama, stay.

My yoga pants have never been to yoga.

Did you get those yoga pants on sale? Because at my house they are 100 percent off!.

If you say "Pumpkin Spice Latte" in the mirror three times, a white girl in yoga pants will appear and tell you all her favorite things about fall.

I hope your into yoga cause your gonna get a good stretch tonight.

I tried yoga, but found it a bit of a stretch. =Tim Vine

Yoga is for posers.

"She looks bad in yoga pants." said no man ever.

Your pants say yoga, but your ass says McDonalds.

My karma ran over my dogma.....

Yoga pants with no ass, is like a wallet with no money.

My wife claims to be good at yoga, but I think she's a poser.

Knock Knock.
Who's There?
Yoga!
Yoga who?
Yoga to try this, it feels amazing.

Meditation
Two Hindus meet on the street.
One asks the other: "Hi, how are you?"
The other ones replies: "I'm fine, thanks."
"And how's your son? Is he still unemployed?"
"Yes, he is. But he is meditating now."
"Meditating? What's that?"
"I dont know. But it's better than sitting around and do nothing!"

Sandwich Shop
After the man received his sandwich, he gave the vendor a $20 bill.
The vendor just smiled.
The man, infuriated, demanded, "Where is my change."
The vendor replied, "Oh, one with everything, change comes from within."

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