Surfing Jokes
Q: Why is surfing like sex?
A: When it's good, it's really, really good. And when it's bad.....it's still pretty good.
Q: Why does a blonde throw water on her keyboard?
A: To surf the internet
Q: Why are surfer's generally more cheerful and relaxed then most others?
A: They are the only grownups who get to pee in their cloths on a regular basis.
Q: What do you call a surfer who just broke up with his girlfriend?
A: Homeless
Q: What's the hardest thing about learning to surf?
A: Telling your parents that your gay!
Q: Why did the shortboarder cross the road?
A: Because all the other carbon-copied, brand-wearing, sticker-flashing unimaginative shortboarders did.
Q: What do you call a Samoan surfing the outside break at Pipeline on a five-foot day?
A: Tufa Out.
Q: What is the most popular sport following a Tsunami?
A: Body Surfing!
Q: How do surfers clean themselves?
A: They wash up on shore!
Q: What detergent do surfers use to wash their wet suit?
A: Tide!
Q: How do people surfing say HI to each other?
A: They Wave!
Q: Why did the surfer cross the beach?
A: To get to the other tide!
Surfing is a wonderful sport, but did you know it can actually raise your IQ?
In Landmark, Australia a surfer entered the water with an IQ of 84 but returned with 157.
Apparently she caught a brain wave.
Two Surfers
Two surfers are at getting ready to paddle out:
Surfer one: "Hey, guess what! I got a new longboard for my wife!"
Surfer two: "Great trade!"
Deserted Island
A man was stranded on a desert island for 10 years.
One day a beautiful girl swims to shore in a wet suit.
Man: "Hi! Am I ever happy to see you."!
Girl: "Hi! It seems like you've been here along time. How long has it been since you've had a cigarette?"
Man: "It's been ten years!"
With this information the girl unzips a slot on the arm of her wet suit and gives the man cigarette.
Man: "Oh thank you so much!"
Girl: "So tell me how long its been since you had a drink?"
Man: "It's been ten years" The girl unzips a little longer zipper on her wet suit and comes out with a flask of whiskey and gives the man a drink.
Man: "Oh. Thank you so much. You are like a miracle"!
Finally the girl starts to unzip the front of her wet suit and asks the man leadingly, "So tell me then, have you been bored?"
The man looked at her and said excitedly: "Oh, my God, don't tell me you've got a surfboard in there too?"
Making Waves
A surfer known for the amount of waves he caught was asked for his secret.
"It's simple," he replied. "When I get up in the morning and my wife is lying on her right side, I only take waves with a right break. If she is lying on her left side, I only take waves with a left break."
"Suppose she is lying on her back?"
"In that case, I sure as hell don't go surfing!"
Drunken Surfers
Two drunken surfers were at the bar when one of them asks: "Hey man, what's worst: ignorance or indifference?".
The, the other guy answers: "I really don't know and I really don't care".
Florida Coast
While surfing off the Florida coast, a tourist snapped his board.
He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the broken board.
Spotting and old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?!"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"
Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.
About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"
"We didn't do nothin'," the beachcomber said.
"Wow", said the tourist.
The beachcomber added, "The sharks got 'em."
Funeral Procession
Alex and three of his surfing buddies have gone surfing every Saturday for nearly thirty years.
One Saturday, the guys are surfing near a highway when a funeral processional drives by.
Well, Alex lays down his board in the water, stands up on his board and places his hand over his heart.
This processional is huge and takes nearly five minutes to pass.
Once it passes, Alex sits down on his board and waits for the next wave.
Needless to say his buddies are floored by his actions.
One of 'em finally speaks up and says, "that sure was a respectful thing you did there when they went by."
Alex replied, "It seems the least I could do seeing as how I've been married to the woman for over thirty years!"
Surfing Vs Sex
Surfboards curves never sag.
Surfboards last longer.
Surfboards don't get pregnant.
You can ride a Surfboards any time of the month.
Surfboards don't have in-laws.
Surfboards don't care about how many other surfboards you have ridden.
Surfboards don't care about how many other surfboards you have.
Surfboards don't mind if you look at other surfboards, or if you buy surfboard magazines.
If you say bad things to your surfboard, you don't have to apologize before you can ride it again.
You can ride a surfboard as long as you want and it won't get sore.
Surfboards don't care if you are out late.
You don't have to take a shower before riding your surfboard.
You can't get diseases from a surfboard you don't know very well.
Surfing Wisdom
Give a man a surfboard, and you've distracted him for a day. Teach a man to surf, and you can't get him to work
If you think it's hard to meet new people, try taking off on the wrong wave.
Golf: For people who don't know how to surf.
The best day at work will never be as good as your worst day surfing.