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Super Bowl Jokes


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Super Bowl XLVII (Febuary 2, 2014; Seattle Seahawks vs Denver Broncos)

Dear Richard Sherman, I'm getting all my "ducks" in a row.
Sincerely,

Peyton Manning

This season, Peyton Manning made $18 million dollars. Russell Wilson made $526,217.

Q: What's Peyton Mannings favorite TV show?
A: Duck Dynasty.

Richard Sherman might have grown up in Compton but Peyton Manning has been through 2 World Wars, 20 Presidents, and is a genuine fossil.

Super Bowl XLVII (Febuary 3, 2013; San Francisco 49ers vs Baltimore Ravens)

If Ravens & 49ers are tied at end of regulation of Super Bowl XLVII, the 2 Harbaugh brothers will meet at midfield and wrestle to see who wins.

NFC champions San Francisco 49ers are 5-0 in Super Bowl appearances. They've never lost a Super Bowl game in NFL history.

Super Bowl XLV (Febuary 6, 2011; Pittsburgh Steelers vs Green Bay Packers)

Q: Why did Ines Sainz feel uncomfortable in the New York Jets locker room?
A: Because all the players put on Ben Roethlisberger jerseys!

Q: Why is Charlie Sheen in such a good mood?
A: Because James Harrison now holds the record for most illegal hits!

Q: How did Lawrence Taylor meet an underage girl through a mutual acquaintance?
A: Ben Roethlisberger!

Q: What do you call 53 millionaires around a TV watching the Super Bowl in Arlington, Texas?
A: The Dallas Cowboys!

Q: What do you call a 350 pound Packer fan?
A: An anorexic!

Q: How does a Packer fan find a sheep in the vast rolling hills of Wisconsin?
A: Satisfying!

Q: What do you call a Packer fan with a sheep under his arm?
A: A pimp.

Super Bowl XLIII (Febuary 1, 2009; Pittsburgh Steelers vs Arizona Cardinals)

Q: How is the bad economy affecting the Super Bowl?
A: Instead of a coin toss they are now going to play rock, paper, scissors!

Q: Why did the bank robber in a Pittsburgh Steelers jacket get away?
A: He was surrounded by people in Arizona Cardinals jackets who couldn't catch him!

Q: How many Detroit Lions does it take to win a Superbowl?
A: No one knows, and we may never find out! 

Q: What do you call a bunch of millionaires sitting around watching the Super Bowl? 
A: The Dallas Cowboys.

Q: What's the difference between the Baltimore Ravens and Frosties? 
A: Frosties belong in a bowl!

Q: Ben Roethlisberger and his family are in a moving vehicle whose driving?
A: The paramedics!

Q: Whats more expensive than a Super Bowl Ad?
A: Signing Anquan Boldin to a contract extension!

Problem
A man overhears two people talking about Super Bowl XLIII at a bar in Tampa Bay, Florida.
What if 100 Steelers fans were on the Moon?
Thats A Problem!

What if 1000 steelers fans were on the Moon?
Still A Problem!

What if all the steelers fans were on the Moon?
Problem Solved!


Empty Seat
A young man was very excited because he just won a ticket to the Super Bowl. His excitement lessened as he realized his seat was in the back of the stadium. As he searched the rows ahead of him for a better seat, he found an empty one right next to the field.
He approached the man sitting next to the empty seat and asked if it was taken.
The man replied, "No."
Amazed the young man asked, "How could someone pass up a seat like this?"
The older gentleman responded, "That's my wife's seat. We've been to every Super Bowl together since the day we were married but she has passed away."
"Oh, how sad," the man said. "I'm sorry to hear that, but couldn't you find a friend or relative to come with you?"
"No," the man said, "They're all at the funeral."

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