Sports One Liner Jokes

Q: Why did the referees stop the leper hockey game?
A: There was a face-off in the corner.

Q: What do you call 143 white guys chasing after one black guy?
A: PGA Tour

Q: Why does someone who runs marathons make a good student?
A: Because education pays off in the long run! 

Q: How many NCAA basketball players does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Only one. But he gets money, a car, and three credit hours for it.

Q: What does a hockey player and a magician have in common?
A: Both do hat tricks! 

Q: Where do religious school children practice sports?
A: In the prayground!

Q: How did the basketball court get wet?
A: The players dribbled all over it!

Q: Why did the chicken get sent off?
A: For persistent fowl play!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the basketball court?
A: Because it heard the referee was blowing fouls

Q: How do baseball players stay cool?
A: They sit next to their fans! 

Q: Where do football directors go when they are fed up?
A: The bored room!

Q: Why do managers bring suitcases along to away games?
A: So that they can pack the defence!

Q: Why did the skydiving club disband?
A: Because they had a falling out.

Q: Where do old bowling balls end up?
A: In the gutter!

Q: What should a football team do if the pitch is flooded?
A: Bring on their subs! 

Q: Which insect didn't play well at quarterback?
A: The fumble bee!

Q: What did the bumble bee striker say?
A: Hive scored!

Q: Why did Cinderella get kicked off the baseball team?
A: Because she ran away from the ball!

Q: What do you get if you cross a skunk and a pair of tennis rackets?
A: Ping Pong!

Q: What can you serve but never eat?
A: A volley ball

Q: What do you do when you play the National Volleyball Team?
A: You wear football helmets.

Q: What does a carpenter have in common with a volleyball player?
A: They both like to hammer spikes.

Q: Why Was Cinderella such a lousy baseball player?
A: She had a pumpkin for a coach!

Q: Why did a outfielder take a piece of rope onto the field?
A: He was the skipper!

Q: How do hens encourage their baseball teams?
A: They egg them on! 

Q: What part of a football pitch smells nicest?
A: The scenter spot! 

Q: What's the chilliest ground in the premiership?
A: Cold Trafford!

Q: How did the footbal pitch end up as triangle?
A: Somebody took a corner!

Q: Why didn't the dog want to play football?
A: It was a boxer!

Q: What did they call Dracula when he won the league?
A: The champire! 

Q: Why did the goal post get angry?
A: Because the bar was rattled!

Q: What part of a football ground is never the same?
A: The changing rooms!

Q: What lights up a soccer stadium?
A: A soccer match!

Q: Why aren't baseball stadiums built in outer space?
A: Because there is no atmosphere!

Q: What is a goal keepers favourite snack?
A: Beans on post! 

Q: What's tennis players favourite city?
A: Volley wood! 

Q: How does a physicist exercise?
A: By pumping ion! 

Q: What is a runner's favourite subject in school?
A: Jog-raphy! 

Q: Which goal keeper can jump higher than a crossbar?
A: All of them, a crossbar can't jump!

Q: Why do grasshoppers not go to many football matches?
A: They prefer cricket matches!

Q: What stories are told by basketball players?
A: Tall stories!

Q: Why did the footballer hold his boot to his ear?
A: Because he liked sole music!

Q: What tea do hockey players drink?
A: Penaltea!

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