Q: What do you get if you see a Leeds United fan buried up to his neck in
sand?
A: More sand
Q: What is the difference between Bill Clinton and Man Utd striker Diego
Forlan?
A: Clinton can score.
Q: Name three football clubs that contain swear words?
A: A: Arsenal, Scunthorpe and F*****g Man Utd.
Q: What's the difference between West Ham and an albatross?
A: An albatross has got two decent wings.
Q: What is the difference between Coventry and the bermuda triangle?
A: The bermuda triangle has three points.
Q: Why does Gordon Strachan keep visiting Argos?
A: Because that's the only way he can pick up any Premier points!
12. Q: How do you make a Gunners fan run?
A: Build a job centre.
13. Q: Why do Hearts fans plant potatoes round the edge of Tynecastle?
A: So they have Something to lift at the end of the season.
14. Q: What happens when the opposition cross the halfway line at Villa Park?
A: They score.
15. Q: What tea do footballers drink?
A. PenalTea!
16. Apparantly, Blackburn football club is under investigation by the Inland
Revenue for tax evasion.
- they've been claiming for Silver Polish for the past 30 years.
18. Q: What's the difference between an Everton fan and a supermarket
trolley?
A: The trolley has a mind of it's own.
20. Q: How many Manchester City soccer fans does it take to change a
lightbulb?
A: None - they're quite happy living in the shadows.
21. A Derby County and Middlesborough fan are strolling along Duke Street and
suddenly the Middlesborough supporter says "Woooh! would ya look at that
dead bird!". The Derby County fan looks skywards and says "huh,
Where???"
Q: How many Evertonians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: As many as you like, but they'll never see the light.
Q: What do you call a Wimbledon fan with an IQ of 10?
A: Supremely gifted!
Q: How do you change a Charlton fans mind?
A: Blow in his ear!
Q: How can you tell ET is a Rangers fan?
A: Because he looks like one.
Unsubstantiated reports seem to suggest that Chelsea will be releasing a new
record at the end of the month, "I'm forever blowing Doubles"!
Q: What would you get if Newcastle were relegated?
A: 45,000 more Chelsea fans
Q: How does Stan Collymore change a lightbulb?
A: He holds it in the air, and the world revolves around him.
Q: What's the difference between a Liverpool fan and a broken clock?
A: Even a broken clock is right twice a day!
Q. What's the difference between a Hibernian fan and a coconut?
A. You can get a drink out of a coconut!
Graham Taylor was wheeling his shopping trolley across the supermarket
car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her shopping.
He stopped and asked, "Can you manage dear?" to which the old lady
replied, "no way you got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to sort it
out!"
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