Rowing Jokes

What do you call the fastest racing shell in the world?
Usain Boat.

Did you hear about the rower who tried to sabotage the other team?
He sweeps with the fishes.

Why did the coxswain jump?
She wanted to test the water!

What does a drunk racing shell do?
Get Wrecked.

How do you make a rowboat look younger?

Did you hear about the Coxswain who is getting married?
Yeah, someone sweeped her off her feet.

What's the hardest thing about joining the crew team?
Telling your parents that your gay!

Why shouldn't you name your racing shell after Donald Trump?
Because it will sink to new lows.

Why did the girls crew team have problems competing?
They didn't have boy-ancy! (Buoyancy)

What race is never run?
A regatta race.

What do you call an olympic qualifying rower who just broke up with his girlfriend?

What detergent do rowers use?

How did the Pope sink the brand new rowboat?
He christened it with "Holey Water".

How do you make a racing shell feel better?
Give it some "Vitamin Sea".

Where do ghosts like to go rowing?
Lake Eerie

What do you do with a sick racing shell?
Take it to the doc.

Where do zombies like to go rowing?
The Dead Sea

Why did Pamela Anderson's rowboat tip over?
It was Top Heavy.

What did the sinking racing shell say to the rowers?
Bail Me Out.

What do you call a racing shell that can't hold its liquor?

What do a dentist and a rowing coach have in common?
They both use drills!

What game do young rowers play?
Dock Dock Caboose.

How do people rowing in the ocean say HI to each other?
They Wave!

There was a paddle sale at Cabela's.
It was quite an oar deal.

Don't ask a rower if they believe in god until they have finished a 2K.

Row likes there's no Tomor-row.

Rows Before Hoes

Training for crew is very rigger-ous.

All rowers have a thick sculls.

Rowing jokes will make you laugh your scull off.

Rowers who don't know how to sweep is a real scull scratcher.

Wife: Honey, guess what I got you for your birthday?
Husband: Something to get rid of me?
Wife: Close, boat no cigar.

At the start line of a Regatta a boy says to a rower in the opposing shell "Excuse me mate, you've got a piece shit at the end of your blade." The other teams rowers look at the spoon and say "You must be mistaken, It's clean." The boy responds "No the other end"

Row Row Your Boat
A blonde is driving along a deserted country road with fields on either side.
She looks out the window and sees another blonde in the middle of a field, in a rowboat, rowing and rowing.
She stops the car, rolls down the window and yells, "You know it's blondes like you who give the rest of us blondes a bad name!"
Getting no reaction from the blonde in the rowboat, she screams, "If I could swim I'd come out there and punch you out!"

Bartender Says
A man rows into a bar...
Bartender says "hey, whats with the turd on your head?"
The guy says, "Hell, that's no turd, its a FEMA CARE Package!"

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